Wednesday, May 27, 2009

the 'what about me?' syndrome

A couple weeks ago, I read an an editorial in the LA Times about population growth, fertility, and the empowerment of women. (I would post a link, but since I forgot the title and author, I can't find it online) Basically, the argument is that we should empower women through education, resources, and fertility control. The planet is unsustainable as long as population rates continue to grow, so empowering women is good for society as a whole and critical to gender equality.

Last weekend, the letters to the editor rolled in. Most agreed with the author, but one man argued that empowering everyone, not just women, is critical to society. Fine, I get it. He thinks it's unfair to focus solely upon women. It's unequal. What about the men, right?

I study violence against women, particularly rape. Sometimes, people like to remind me that men also get raped, and that violence should be a human rights issue, not a 'woman's issue.' Fine. It seems unfair to focus on women. What about the men, right?

I call this whining the 'what about me?' syndrome. When one disadvantaged group receives more attention, the dominant group likes to point out that there are exceptions and that special treatment just isn't fair. Yes, there are exceptions. Yet, when there are systematic patterns in society, we cannot deny that special treatment and focused attention may be necessary to mitigate inequalities. Globally, women are subordinate to men. A disproportionate number of political leaders are men. Women earn less than men, and more women are at the bottom of the socioeconomic hierarchy than men; this is so pervasive that we even have a term for this: the feminization of poverty. A disproportionate number of victims of rape and domestic violence are women. In the quest for equality, we need to address the inequalities and differences that exist between women and men.

Let me illustrate my point with an analogy. We know that the risk for heart disease is greater among those who are overweight, lead sedentary lifestyles, and have poor eating habits. Do people who exercise on a regular basis and forgo double cheeseburgers also get heart disease? Absolutely, but we know that this is rather infrequent. Yet, if I suggested to you that we just ignore the evidence that tells us that exercise, a healthy weight, and a sensible diet are important to stave off heart disease, you would think that I'm being ridiculous. If I said that doctors should not focus on discussing the risks of heart disease with their overweight and sedentary patients because sometimes healthy people get heart disease too, you would think I'm being ridiculous. See where I'm going with this?

I do not deny that there are exceptions to the rules, but I'm tired of the 'what about me?' syndrome. It reduces women's experiences of subordination and oppression to a single, individual occurrence and prevents us from seeing that these are rooted in systematic societal practices. It prevents us from seeing that there is a larger problem in society that needs to be tackled. If we want to make things equal, we need to acknowledge our differences and inequalities, and sometimes it will be necessary to single people out and focus our attention on particular groups.

Friday, May 22, 2009

"new" car

I have finally given in and purchased a car. It's used, but "new" to me. It's dark green and has a sun roof. It's nice to have a new found sense of freedom; I kind of feel like a 16 year-old who recently got a driver's license, except better because obviously I don't have a curfew and don't have to tell my parents where I'm going. All right, that's all.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

generic pronouns

I am TAing Sociology of Gender this quarter, and last week we learned about the generic use of pronouns. Typically, we default to the masculine version of a pronoun when we speak. For example, let's say that you saw a dog and you didn't know its gender. You would probably say, "he's a cute dog." Or let's say that you found someone's lost pen. You would probably say, "did someone lose his pen?" Or let's say you're driving down the road and someone forgets to use his/her indicator. You would probably think to yourself, "he forgot to use his signal light." You get the idea. This is how masculinity becomes the norm in our society. We use masculine pronouns without even thinking about it. Sometimes we try to get around gender prounouns by saying "they," but unless we are talking about a plural form, using "they" is just bad grammar.

Usually we default to use the masculine version of a pronoun, except when it comes to objects like cars. Or ships or boats. Or babies. Then, we use the feminine pronoun. "she runs really nice" or "she's a great car" or "she's got a few more miles left on her" So, when we are referring to an object to be used or controlled, or humans in a dependent and helpless position, we default to the feminine pronoun. Just an observation.

I am in the middle of purchasing a car right now, and I watched Star Trek over the weekend. The guy who showed me a car referred to it as a "she" and the USS Enterprise was also referred to as "she" in the movie.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

a feminist analysis of management

I saw the movie 'Management' the other night, starring Jennifer Aniston and Steve Zahn. If you have any intention to see this movie, then you should stop reading this blog post right now, as I'm going to walk you through the movie and spoil the ending for you.

Mike (played by Steve Zahn) is a socially stunted, chain smoking, overgrown kid with no direction in his life. He works the night shift at a hotel owned by his parents and lives in a corner hotel room. Sue (played by Jennifer Aniston) is an uptight, anal retentive woman who sells corporate art and tries to make the world a better place by recycling and passing out Burger King coupons to homeless people. Mike and Sue's paths cross when Sue's business trip takes her to Arizona, where she stays at the hotel where Mike is employed.

Mike awkwardly and painfully tries to hit on Sue by bringing her complimentary bottles of bad wine. On the night of his second attempt, Sue allows him to touch her ass for what seemed like a prolonged and awkward length of time. Apparently, this is a consolation prize. The next day, Sue checks out of the hotel, but she doesn't leave without first having a quickie in the laundry room with Mike.

Mike then thinks that he is in love with Sue. Here's the basic story line: Mike buys a one way ticket to Maryland to woo Sue. This doesn't work, so he returns home. Sue later visits the hotel, and she and Mike have a fling and she meets his dying mother. Then Mike finds out that Sue has gone back to her boyfriend to live in Washington. Of course, Mike then goes to Washington to find Sue and literally parachutes into her swimming pool. Sue tells Mike that they can't be together because she is pregnant, and she needs someone who can provide for her, and apparently her ex-punk, yogurt entrepreneur douchebag boyfriend is just the guy who can do this.

Obviously, I did not like this movie. From a feminist perspective, it was absolutely awful. So, Mike can't take no for an answer and then he basically stalks Sue. And, apparently, this is supposed to be all sweet and romantic. Mike eventually grows on Sue and she starts to like him back, giving viewers the idea that stalking is okay and that love is possible if you are annoying, persistent, and lack respect for a woman's personal space. It completely diminishes the seriousness of stalking, and sends the message that women enjoy this voyeuristic and intrusive behavior. Oh, and if men try hard enough, women will give in and let you touch their ass- or more.

Next, this movie upholds the expectation that women must be kind, submissive, and amenable to men. Sue is a woman, so she is supposed to be polite and nice. Even though she is clearly annoyed with Mike's advances, she still gives him a chance and of course, in the end, she starts to like him too. Sue just puts up with Mike's unacceptable behavior instead of sternly telling him to leave her alone. (yes, she tries to do this, but not very hard) So, this movie perpetuates the idea that no doesn't really mean no and that women secretly want aggressive and disrespectful men.

Then, this movie sends a negative message about women. Apparently, if a woman is ambitious and wants to make the world a better place, she is an uptight bitch in need of an immature man-child to loosen her up and show her how to have fun.

Finally, this movie upholds gender roles- men are supposed to be the providers, and women need a man to take care of them. Sue marries the douchebag yogurt guy because he can financially support her and their baby. Only when Mike gets his shit together and has a life plan does Sue finally decide to be with him.

I found it more difficult than usual to just sit back and enjoy this movie. Yes, I watch lots of superficial movies, many which negatively portray women. I mean, hello, I did just watch Bride Wars the other day, and I liked it. Yet, as I was watching Management, I could not help being angry and annoyed.

Friday, May 15, 2009

chinatown

Last weekend, Drew and I went to Chinatown. It was a beautiful day- we walked around the neighborhood, checked out the Chinese Historical Society, ducked into the shops, and ate yummy Chinese food.
We came across the Phoenix Bakery, this famous bakery founded in the late 1930s. It is known for its infamous strawberry whipped cream cake.

The cake was light, moist, and fluffy. It was so good that we practically inhaled it!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

new stuff

I got a long overdue haircut today. My hair was growing out past my shoulders, and it was getting so thick and heavy. Now it's chin-length, light, and full of layers. I think I lost about 2 pounds, just in excess hair alone.

My blackout curtains arrived via UPS this afternoon, and Drew is helping me install them later tonight. Blackout curtains, like the haircut, were long overdue. A couple weeks ago, I decided that I was tired of waking up with the sun at six in the morning. Grr.

Not a whole lot going on (obviously, I mean, I did just get done talking about hair and curtains). The quarter seems to simultaneously be dragging on and moving quickly. Last Saturday, we had a graduate student conference, and my presentation went pretty well. I got good feedback and talked to cool people. On Sunday, the BF and I went up to Chinatown in LA. I'll post some pics in the next couple days.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

some updates

Over halfway through the quarter, and still surviving. I'm not burnt out and I'm taking measures so I stay relatively sane, but still, I will need to sleep for a straight week after the quarter ends. The last few posts have been about school, so here's are some unacademic updates:

Last night, I made Thai Curry Beef Skewers. Go ahead and give 'em a whirl. They were super easy to make, and they were yummy.

The other day, I made a marsala cream sauce with sauteed mushrooms, served over spaghetti. I was inspired by the mushroom marsala dish that Drew ate at Peppino's a few weeks ago. Here's the recipe I used:

1 medium chopped onion
4-5 cloves chopped garlic
3 T butter, divided
1 c marsala wine
1 c heavy cream
1/2 c grated parmesan
salt and pepper

Saute the onion in 1 T butter for about 5-7 minutes. Add the garlic and saute for about 1 more minute. Add the wine, and simmer until it's reduced to about 2 T liquid. Add the cream and simmer until it's reduced by about half. Stir in 2 T cubed butter, and keep stirring until it's melted. Stir in parmesan cheese, and season with salt and pepper. (To serve, Drew and I added in sauteed mushrooms and mixed the sauce with spaghetti. We found that this recipe makes enough sauce for about 1/3 box of spaghetti)

The key to making this sauce is patience. A lot of it. Before I tried out this recipe, I first tried to make chicken marsala. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. I was rather impatient and did not let the wine fully reduce. Then, instead of using heavy cream, I tried to substitute half and half. That was not a good idea. In a meeting with my adviser, I asked LD where I went wrong. He told me that I didn't let the wine reduce enough and that I had to use heavy cream. So, I did both, and mission accomplished!

Last night, I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Good movie.