on grad school

When I was in Las Vegas, I met up with a friend I'd made 3 years ago at ICPSR (aka stats boot camp) in Ann Arbor. We had just finished up our 2nd year of grad school. Now, she is finishing her dissertation and getting ready to start an academic job in Texas, and I'm entering my 6th year of grad school. Other stuff has has changed too. She recently got married and moved from the East Coast to Texas. Drew and I moved in together less than a year ago. We've changed in other ways too.

We talked about how different grad school is now, after our 5th year, compared to how it was after our 2nd year. It certainly is. See, you can always distinguish the younger grad students (1st and 2nd years) from the older grad students (about 4th year and above). The younger ones are bright eyed and bushy tailed. They are ambitious, excited, and optimistic. We talked about how we used to be like that. The older ones are jaded. They're tired and worn down. If they haven't left the program by now, they just want to get out and graduate. We talked about how this is what we're like now. She said "When I was younger, I always wondered why the older grad students always looked tired and stressed out." Now, we know.

When I was a 2nd year, I shared an office with a 5th year. She was jaded, worn down, and tired of the bullshit. I wondered if I'd end up like her someday. I did. The thing is that younger grad students never understand that this is how it will eventually end up. And you can't tell them this either. They'll never believe it. If my officemate had told me I'd feel like her someday, I wouldn't have believed it. No, not me. I'll be different. Ha!

And this is why older grad students can't be friends with younger grad students. Like, really friends. Of course, everyone can hang out and play nice. But the thing is that grad school sucks a lot, and nobody wants those older students raining on the younger ones' parade, not that they want to do that anyway. And while the older ones understand what the younger ones are going through, the reverse is never true. To them, our experiences are unfathomable. Until you've been through it yourself, you can never understand.

I imagine that on some level, being in a Ph.D. program must be like the military. Nobody else knows what it's like unless they've been through it themselves (and I mean a Ph.D. program, not MBA, not medical school or law school, and certainly not M.A. programs). Which is sad, because being in a Ph.D. program is already isolating. The last thing we need is for it to be even more isolating. But maybe that's why, when you make good friends that really and truly know what you're going through, you all hang on for dear life, throwing each other life rings and trying to just help each other survive.

las vegas

After neglecting you for weeks, I've decided to play catch up all in the same day. Last weekend, Drew and I went to Las Vegas. It was the annual meeting of the American Sociology Association and Drew was presenting a paper. Even though half my committee is composed of sociologists, and I've been told many times that I'm practically one myself (by the aforementioned half of my committee as well as many others), and I get mistaken for being one all the time, I was simply along for the ride. It was fabulous. I have some friends in the sociology department, and this was a great time to see those who I haven't seen in a while as well as those who have just graduated and are getting ready to move away.

The entire weekend was nice and relaxing, at least for me. I hung out with friends, Drew was busy with some conference stuff, we ate, and drank $2 margaritas. We went to Max Brenner, this restaurant known for its chocolate and desserts. It was fantastic.

I accidentally coerced Drew into eating Chinese food, a little over one week since he'd been back from China. After dealing with long waits at 2 different restaurants one night, we decided to try out Beijing Noodle No.9 for scallion pancakes, sizzling tofu with black bean sauce, and hand pulled noodles with tomato and egg.

The black bean sauce was so good I started scooping it out and eating it with a spoon. That's right, I'm not ashamed to admit that. If you'd forked over $18 for it like I did, you'd make the most of it too.

I ate this noodle dish only once when I was in Beijing last summer, right before we hiked the Great Wall. I loved it, and I will always have fond memories of it. Drew said he ate this nearly every week while he was in Beijing. I nearly fell out of my chair when he said it cost barely $1 in Beijing. In Las Vegas, it was $12. Sigh.

It was a good weekend. On the way back home, we stopped off in Primm (about 30 miles from Vegas) at the Mad Greek Cafe for dinner. We had some bad luck on the drive home though. There had been an accident involving a fuel truck in the southbound lanes about 60 miles from Vegas. Fortunately nobdoy was injured, but the freeway was closed and traffic was diverted. Traffic was stop and go about 10 miles from the site, and I kid you not, it took us about 3 hours to drive 10 miles.

This is the 2nd time Drew and I have been to Vegas together, and so far, on the drive home we are 0-2. Both times, what should be about a 5 hour trip turns into 7 or 8. When I drove out here from Minnesota, I drove through Vegas but didn't hit any traffic. I'm pretty sure that if I had, I would have strongly considered turning around and driving back to Minnesota. Maybe.

a harvest!

The garden is doing well. We have to beat the crows to the tomatoes, but I can't complain. We've harvested about half a dozen green peppers, a dozen or so jalapenos, some romas, and some beans. It has been quite rewarding. And it tastes so good. I always knew that local food was superior to the stuff that gets shipped thousands of miles to the grocery store, but now I totally get it.

We are getting red peppers!
And a view of the whole plot:
Things are looking very green!

sexism and power

It's been a while, but bear with me. First of all, Drew came home a couple weeks ago. He is glad to be back home, and I've already coerced him into eating Chinese food (more on that later). It is good to have him. He was impressed with the garden (more on that later, too), but he was disappointed that I neglected his plant in the living room. In my defense, I did keep it alive despite watering it only once in the 7 weeks he was away.

August has been a busy month because I am teaching a summer session class and it started at the beginning of the month. I am teaching Sexism and Power. It's a how-to class. Har har. We meet twice a week for 3 hours each. I have about 20 students. It's a writing class, so we write essays every week, which means that my weekends are devoted to grading. The students are fun and they seem interested in the course material. We have fun discussions and sometimes watch TV shows and movies. I couldn't have asked for a better teaching experience.

I also completed the Literacy Tutor Training at the Newport Beach Public Library. I am in the process of being matched with a learner. The library has a literacy program for adults who need help with their reading, writing, and speaking skills. I should begin tutoring soon, so I'm looking forward to that.

putting the community in gardening

Let me start by saying that I did not grow these tomatoes. My gardening neighbors from 2 plots away did. Don't they look lovely?

I have heard that gardens can help community building, and while I had no reason to doubt this, I have definitely felt this the past couple months. Except for the guy who looked at me like I was on crack when I asked him about my flowering basil, everyone I've come across in the garden is nice, warm, and friendly (and they don't look at me like I'm on crack when I talk to them).

Some of the garden plots are tended to by my friends, but most are not. In the garden, I wave to people I don't know, and sometimes even chat them up. This doesn't really happen in other venues.

So back to the tomatoes. My gardening neighbors who gave me the tomatoes are a couple with lots of tomato plants. Their plants are lush and green. They climb up to the sky on tall stakes. I am envious. I call them the tomato people (I actually don't know their names). I have also realized that seeing as how Drew and I have 10 tomato plants, I guess we too could be the tomato people. But our tomato plants don't look as good as our neighbors' plants.

I have chatted up the tomato people and solicited their advice. And yesterday, as we were watering our respective gardens, the woman came over and offered me some tomatoes. It was so kind and generous. I can't wait to eat them.

As we were talking, she was admiring our pepper plants. They might be the tomato people, but I guess we might be the pepper people. She said she couldn't grow peppers, which is surprising, given that she successfully grows tomatoes, thai basil, eggplants, potatoes, and squash. But anyway, this could be a good thing. Drew and I will surely have too many peppers, so when they start coming in, we will return the goodwill.