fettuccine with creamy tomato italian sausage

I tried to be a vegetarian twice. The first time was when I was 17 and my vegetarian streak lasted 2 years. I'm not really sure what compelled me to be a vegetarian. I think it was because I thought I cared about animal rights, and I did, to a degree. But the problem was, I didn't know where to draw the line, and this weighed on me. I mean, if I eschewed meat because I cared about animals, then what about eggs? Dairy? Leather? Animal testing? It was overwhelming, and because I didn't know where the line was, I gave up altogether. 

The second time I tried vegetarianism was about 3 years ago, and I think that streak lasted almost a year. I had given it quite a bit of thought, and besides, Drew was a vegetarian. Though he never cared if I ate meat, I thought it made sense. So I did it. But it lasted only until he went to Beijing two summers ago. 

Again, like the time before, the "line" weighed on me. If I was a vegetarian because it was good for my health, animals, and the environment, well then, why did I have to give it up altogether? I asked myself why I couldn't eat it on occasion. What was wrong with eating a mostly vegetarian diet? When I didn't know the answer, I knew my heart wasn't into it and that I had to give it up. 

When I gave up vegetarianism both times, it was pork that broke my streak. The first time, it was sausage pizza. The second time, it was ham. The thing is, and this is only anecdotal evidence, it appears that when vegetarians return to meat-eating, the streak isn't broken by what is considered to be "good" meat, like a steak. It's broken by what's deemed to be inferior meat, like pepperoni or lunch meat or bologna. 

I'm not surprised that pork products were my gateway meat. I've never been one to eat steak, and I never really ate chicken or turkey. Mock meats have come a long way these days, and I actually enjoy them. Though you can find fake chicken, ground beef, and hot dogs, fake Italian sausage and fake ham are difficult to come by. 

I'm confident that I've finally found the "line." Drew and I keep a vegetarian household (my choice, not his), and I try to be as responsible as I can when I eat meat. This means that I don't eat it at, say, a fast food restaurant. As I said to Drew early on, I don't eat meat so I can eat it at Del Taco. I also eat meat about twice a week. For me, the line is to reduce my meat consumption, something that everyone should do. Too often, I think people have an all-or-nothing attitude (I certainly did!), but people don't have to be either a vegetarian or a meat-eater. 

Last Friday night, Drew left for Beijing. I intend to continue eating a mostly vegetarian diet while he's away, but now I can cook with meat if I want to. Tonight, I made Fettuccine with Creamy Tomato Italian Sausage. from Simply Recipes.   

I was ambitious, and somewhat bored, so I decided to make my own pasta. It was totally worth it. I even did it the proper way, without the stand mixer. Using Chef Anne Burrell's recipe (I love her!), I made a volcano with the flour, and poured the olive oil and eggs in the well. You have to be careful not to break the volcano or else the liquid spreads across the counter, which is what happened to me. It really wasn't an issue, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Chef Anne would be disappointed in me. When the dough came together, I kneaded it until it was smooth and pliable, which was supposed to take 10 to 15 minutes for an inexperienced kneader and 8 to 10 for an experienced one. I wasn't sure which one I was, so I kneaded my dough for approximately 3 Taylor Swift songs.  

Even prior to dating Drew, I didn't eat a lot of meat. Aside from this meal, I can't think of anything else I'd like to cook while Drew is gone. I'm a vegetarian at home, and I'm not sure that will be a habit that I'll break.