26.2

I survived.  It wasn't pretty, but I ran 26.2 miles and finished the OC Marathon yesterday.  I wasn't at all nervous headed into the race.  If anything, during the week before, I was experiencing feelings of dread mixed with excitement.    

During the week before the race, I thought a lot about running, my goals, and my accomplishments.  In just 8 months, I went from being a non-runner (running only a couple miles here and there) to being a runner.  I ran a 5K in November, and a half marathon in January.  And here I was about to run my first marathon, something that had always been a pipe dream.       

I had always wanted to be a runner, but could never find the motivation to stick with it.  Running a half marathon and eventually committing to a marathon definitely motivated me, and running with Sam was probably the best motivator.  I've found many benefits to running, aside from a leaner body and more muscles.  It has been the best stress reliever (yoga has been great too, and I still do it about once a week), but running has helped me manage the stresses of graduate school.

I also found many parallels between marathons and dissertations.  Both are long and challenging, and few people attempt either one.  Both require a lot of self motivation.  There are good days and there are bad.  On some days, it's a breeze and on other days, the tasks seems impossible.  Both require a lot of hard work, and consistency is key.  And few people see that hard work, they see only you at the finish line or at graduation.  Nobody sees you slogging away in your office writing, and nobody sees you slogging through a 20 mile run.  You have to pace yourself.  Go out too fast on a long run, and you'll struggle to finish.  I imagine the same holds true for the dissertation.  A game plan is necessary and tasks must be broken up into small, manageable goals.  I'm sure there are many other parallels, but these are the ones I thought of during my marathon training.  

And so this is why I wasn't nervous heading into the race.  I felt that I'd accomplished all I'd wanted to accomplish already.  I became a runner.  I ran a 5K and then a half marathon.  I fell in love with running, and I felt good because of it.  It helped me not hate grad school, and it made me happy.  I'd done everything I'd wanted to do, save for completing the full marathon.           

This is not to say that the marathon was a cake walk.  It wasn't.  I'm smiling in the pictures and I finished, but a lot happened over the course of 5 hours and 46 minutes.  The race started 15 minutes late and I was at the back of the pack.  I had to stop off at a porta potty in the first mile, which set me even further back.  I wasn't trying to win, but being at the back is lonely, as I would find out much later.  

The half marathon was supposed to start 45 minutes later, but with our time delay, we got only a 30 minute head start.  Around mile 3, I started getting passed by half marathoners.  My ego can handle getting passed, but I was running about 12 minute miles and was getting passed by people running about twice as fast.  As more and more half marathoners caught up, I felt like I was in the middle of a stampede.  Eventually though, their pace slowed and even though I kept getting passed, I estimate their pace was about a 10 minute mile.  Running with the half marathoners became enjoyable and the energy was contagious.  There were quite a few spectators, and it was nice running through Corona del Mar, Newport Beach, and the Back Bay.  Just before mile 12, I saw my friends out cheering for me.  It was exciting.  I felt really good and strong until mile 12, when the half marathoners peeled off and headed to the fairgrounds to finish.

My morale did a 180 at the halfway point.  I was no longer motivated by the half marathoners, and now I could see how few us marathoners were at the back of the pack.  Despite our slow pace, Sam and I were well trained, well, at least well trained enough to run up 21 miles (our longest training run).  I was one of the few people still running at this point.  I didn't want to give myself permission to walk until at least mile 20 (I was afraid it would make finishing even more painful, not to mention delay finishing), but I found it difficult to maintain my motivation when most of the people around me were walking.

The course is described as scenic, but this is not true.  The first half is scenic, the rest is terrible.  We ran through business areas and a deserted high school.  As someone who runs for the scenery, these were not good places to hit The Wall.  I began to feel demoralized during mile 14, but it wasn't until mile 16 when I would let myself admit it.  I felt like crying.  It was very lonely at the back of the pack.  I felt abandoned.  There were few spectators, and even the scheduled entertainment had abandoned us.  A police officer tried to keep up our spirits at the deserted high school, and I'm extremely grateful for that.  Sam (who ran the Big Sur marathon last weekend) warned me that it would get difficult around this time, and she was right.  The only things that kept me going at this point was her assurance that it would get better at mile 20, and that Drew and my friend Andy were waiting for me at mile 20.  Drew would go on to meet us at the finish line, but Andy was going to run the rest of the race with me.  

At mile 19, I got a supportive text from Sam.  I ran through South Coast Plaza, which was depressing.  I began to cry.  It sucked, it was frustrating, I was getting tired, and my feet hurt.  But I knew that things would turn around at mile 20, so I kept going.  Drew texted me to tell me they were at the corner of Harbor and Segerstrom, and I knew the only way to see them was to keep running.  

When I saw Drew and Andy, I immediately burst into tears and I told them it sucked.  Even though I was having a terrible time, the thought that I wouldn't finish never crossed my mind.  No matter how discouraged I got, I knew I was going to finish.  Andy had run a few marathons before, and I was so glad she was going to run the rest of this one with me.  She carried my water pack and supported not just me, but also the other runners whose spirits were surely flagging.  She thanked people for coming out to support us, which I could not find the strength to do.  We walked a few times during miles 21 and 22, but we mostly ran.  Surprisingly, it hurt more to walk and slowing down made it nearly impossible to start running again.  Plus, I wanted to finish as soon as possible, and I knew walking would only prolong the torture.  

I began to feel better at mile 23, mostly because I could wrap my head around running just 3 more miles.  That feeling got even better at miles 24 and 25.  After running what felt like really, really long miles, the last mile felt pretty short.  At mile 26, Andy peeled off to join the spectators at the finish line.  I didn't know how I would feel at this point, but I felt pretty numb.  There were a lot of people watching, so I didn't want to cry.  In previous races, I've always felt this surge of energy as I run to the finish line, but not this time.  I kept a consistent pace and crossed the finish line.  It was anti-climactic, but I was so relieved and happy to finish.  And I couldn't wait to get my race medal.  I was proud of myself for taking the ultimate running challenge and completing it.  Here I am crossing the finish line:

 

After getting water and food, I sat down to stretch and debrief Drew and Andy on the race.  Despite feeling terrible during miles 14-20, I was in really good spirits after the race.  Here I am, clearly having forgotten the trauma in the middle of the race:

After resting a bit, we headed out.  But not before a picture in front of the finish line:

I was sore after the race, but not as sore as I'd anticipated.  Drew met me at the finish line with flip flops, which made all the difference.  Surprisingly, I didn't have trouble walking, and I was even able to walk (slowly) to the car, which was parked in a nearby neighborhood about a half mile from the fairgrounds.  If anything, the marathon may have been more of a mental challenge than a physical one.

Chances are, I will run another marathon someday.  It really depends upon the marathon; if it's a big marathon with lots of cool scenery, then I'd definitely consider it.  Drew said the OC Marathon must not have been too traumatic, seeing as how the only things I complained about were the lack of scenery in the second half and dodging cyclists between miles 20 and 22.  If anything, I will continue running half marathons.  It's still a respectable distance, but not as strenuous.  Plus, training for a half marathon doesn't require as much time and commitment as marathon training.  

Up next?  The Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach next February.  I can't wait.