In the paper today, I read a letter to the editor that said that if gay people are allowed to get married, it will make a mockery of marriage. That's right, gay people will contaminate marriage and ruin it for everyone. What, pray tell, will become of this sacred institution if we let gays in? So, I came up with my own list of things that make a mockery of marriage. Here goes:
Teenagers. In some states, teenagers as young as 14 can get married as long as they have parental consent or a judicial waiver. That's right kids, you can't vote, buy cigarettes, legally drink, or even buy Sudafed, but you can get married as long as your parents approve. (By the way, I'm guessing that the probability of parental consent increases if one of those teens is knocked up. Or named Bristol Palin. Or both.)
Weddings. I read somewhere that the average wedding costs around $25,000. And Glamour tells me that the average bride spends an average of 30 hours a week planning her wedding. And I just recently read that college graduates are postponing marriage because they have too much student loan debt and can't afford a wedding. This is all utterly ridiculous. Seriously, if marriage was truly about love and commitment, it would not start with a 3-ring circus.
Gift Registries. So, getting hitched means that people are now entitled to the fine china and fancy cutlery? Marriage means that people are supposed to help the newlyweds establish their new home? Some people think that since they're shelling out for a wedding, a gift is like the admission fee to their circus. They're like "hey, I'm buying you dinner; help me upgrade my kitchenware and give me new towels." Hey, weddings are a choice and so is the budget. It's not like I show up to a wedding, request a five-course meal, flowers that match the tablecloths, or a six-tier wedding cake.
Diamonds. When some people see diamond rings, they see love and commitment, but all I see are sketchy, unethical mining practices and a waste of resources (2 months salary...come on, isn't that better spent on something else? Anything else?). Engagement rings are more than a pretty piece of jewelry. They signify ownership and let the world know that a woman is "taken." (ever notice how men don't wear engagement rings?) The size of the rock is also associated with the man's ability to take care of his betrothed and provide for her.
Outdated Patriarchal Practices. This includes, but is not limited to, white wedding dresses, fathers walking their daughters down the aisle, when women take their husband's name, and men who ask fathers for permission to marry their daughters. These practices aren't romantic or sentimental; they're demeaning to women.
Bridezillas. Sometimes, I cannot resist tuning in to the eponymous show on the Women's Entertainment network. This show is like the culmination of the list of things that truly make a mockery of marriage. It chronicles Bridezillas as they plan and execute their wedding. The cameras follow these divas and everything they do to make their wedding day, this one day, simply perfect. It reinforces the notion that marriage is about the wedding and that it is the bride's day, not about the bride AND groom. The television show holds no bars- the bridezillas verbally abuse and manipulate their soon-to-be-husbands, and the cameras catch every temper tantrum and lots of tears and insults.
Well look at that. Seems like heteros engage in many practices that make a mockery of marriage. Apparently, gay people aren't the only ones that can make a mockery of marriage. Heteros have been doing it all along and have done quite a nice job.
Teenagers. In some states, teenagers as young as 14 can get married as long as they have parental consent or a judicial waiver. That's right kids, you can't vote, buy cigarettes, legally drink, or even buy Sudafed, but you can get married as long as your parents approve. (By the way, I'm guessing that the probability of parental consent increases if one of those teens is knocked up. Or named Bristol Palin. Or both.)
Weddings. I read somewhere that the average wedding costs around $25,000. And Glamour tells me that the average bride spends an average of 30 hours a week planning her wedding. And I just recently read that college graduates are postponing marriage because they have too much student loan debt and can't afford a wedding. This is all utterly ridiculous. Seriously, if marriage was truly about love and commitment, it would not start with a 3-ring circus.
Gift Registries. So, getting hitched means that people are now entitled to the fine china and fancy cutlery? Marriage means that people are supposed to help the newlyweds establish their new home? Some people think that since they're shelling out for a wedding, a gift is like the admission fee to their circus. They're like "hey, I'm buying you dinner; help me upgrade my kitchenware and give me new towels." Hey, weddings are a choice and so is the budget. It's not like I show up to a wedding, request a five-course meal, flowers that match the tablecloths, or a six-tier wedding cake.
Diamonds. When some people see diamond rings, they see love and commitment, but all I see are sketchy, unethical mining practices and a waste of resources (2 months salary...come on, isn't that better spent on something else? Anything else?). Engagement rings are more than a pretty piece of jewelry. They signify ownership and let the world know that a woman is "taken." (ever notice how men don't wear engagement rings?) The size of the rock is also associated with the man's ability to take care of his betrothed and provide for her.
Outdated Patriarchal Practices. This includes, but is not limited to, white wedding dresses, fathers walking their daughters down the aisle, when women take their husband's name, and men who ask fathers for permission to marry their daughters. These practices aren't romantic or sentimental; they're demeaning to women.
Bridezillas. Sometimes, I cannot resist tuning in to the eponymous show on the Women's Entertainment network. This show is like the culmination of the list of things that truly make a mockery of marriage. It chronicles Bridezillas as they plan and execute their wedding. The cameras follow these divas and everything they do to make their wedding day, this one day, simply perfect. It reinforces the notion that marriage is about the wedding and that it is the bride's day, not about the bride AND groom. The television show holds no bars- the bridezillas verbally abuse and manipulate their soon-to-be-husbands, and the cameras catch every temper tantrum and lots of tears and insults.
Well look at that. Seems like heteros engage in many practices that make a mockery of marriage. Apparently, gay people aren't the only ones that can make a mockery of marriage. Heteros have been doing it all along and have done quite a nice job.
1 comment:
2 things. As I was driving home the other day, that Taylor Swift song "Love Story" came on the radio and I realized it mentions practically all of the things in your "patriarchal practices" section. Heh.
#2- I plan to have children some day (probably, that could change). Kids are great, yay kids, parenthood, whatever. I recently got an invitation to a baby shower (also right after I'd read your post) and thought the same thing you mention about gift registries. Now, the person the shower is for is super sweet and very nice, but I sarcastically thought, "What, so you decide to procreate and I have to buy you crap?" This snarky comment probably also has a lot to do with the fact that we're at the end of summer and money concerns are very present for me and has nothing to do with who the shower is for. But I don't know... maybe it was just that the "so and so are registered at X" was so prominent in the invitation that it just seemed tacky. We expect people to buy us crap and that's totally acceptable, but yet providing other services for people funded by tax dollars seems like too much to ask. That doesn't make much sense, I'm tired.
ANYWHO. Instead of rambling so long in your comments maybe I should update my own blog :)
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