Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Out of the Slump

Okay, so I've temporarily come out of the slump. Today I had a meeting with BG, one of my professors. I told him that I had to take an incomplete in his class to finish the final paper. Now, FYI, it is not a good idea to ask for an incomplete the day after the final paper is due. Nevertheless, he granted me one. It was a good meeting, but slightly overwhelming. I'm behind on stats, and I'm going to need more stats training to be competitive to publish and when I go on the job market. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had no desire to do either.

I am meeting with the department chair, MP, on Friday. I had a heart to heart with one of my grad-student-mentors, Amy, yesterday (who advised that I talk to MP right away). This is what I told her: I'm a one-trick pony. I care only about women's rights, particularly reproductive rights. I have other things that I care about, like violence against women and same sex marriage, but I'm passionate about reproductive rights. I don't exactly care to learn about anything else. I only care about political science stuff such as voting behavior, social movements, and political participation only as it relates to reproductive rights. I want to make an impact in this area, but I'm not sure that this is how I want to do it. I'm not sure that teaching and doing research is how I want to work to protect reproductive rights. Although research is important, it's a slow process and there is no instant gratification. If there is anything that I am not, it is patient (just ask my mom). Making an impact through research is glacial and behind the scenes-- instead, I think that I want to be on the front lines. Anyway, I'm going to talk to MP to see if what my options are and how to break into public policy work. Don't worry, I'm not throwing in the towel ; I'm just looking to see what else I can do with a PhD that will further my goals.

Today our students took their final exam. I always get attached to my students and feel sad at the end of the quarter. I've gotten to know them, and I've seen them grow. I've spent this quarter pushing them to think outside of the box and challenging them to defend their viewpoints. Even thought I get sad when the quarter ends, I look on the bright side: Next quarter, I will have 65 or so new students to teach about politics. I never doubt that I have an impact on these students. Some may come and go, but I know that some genuinely appreciate my efforts. I know I'm not making revolutionaries, but if I can make politics fun and pain-free, then I've done my job. As my students turned in their exams, I think that they were a bit sad to see me go too. One of my students even gave me a hug (no, it wasn't a guy trying to hit on me). It was one of the nicest things that any student has ever done.

In other news, I'm making squares for Warm Up America! It is this charity that sews together knit squares into afghans for homeless people. Here is a checkerboard square:


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