I went to a wedding last weekend. I was Drew's not-exactly-willing plus one, but when there's free booze and dancing, I can be convinced. I've blogged about my disdain about weddings and marriage before, whether it's about wedding-themed video games, diamonds, or women changing their names. And I've engaged in my fair share of mocking weddings. There are many reasons that I'm against weddings, and there are many things about them that I will never understand. Weddings make marriage seem less about love and commitment and more about ostentatious decorations, fancy food, excess and extravagance. I heard somewhere that the average wedding these days costs about $25,000. This is ridiculous. Who has this kind of money? No doubt, people probably go into debt financing weddings.
When we arrived at the church, I told Drew that I would refrain from critiquing the wedding until after we got home. And of course, I told him that any critique wasn't a critique of his friends; rather, it was a critique on weddings and society in general. Fortunately, he said that I didn't have to wait until we got home. Oh, and I didn't. I mean, I just couldn't resist when the stretch Hummer limousine pulled up to the church.
Let me first say that I understand that weddings are important to people, and it's an experience that they want to celebrate in the biggest way possible. Although I think that weddings are unnecessarily flashy affairs, I respect people's right to celebrate as they see fit. If this is how people choose to celebrate marriage, I can wholeheartedly support them even if I disagree with it.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, here goes. The ceremony was nice. Patriarchal, but nice. I'm always struck by how people romanticize about patriarchal practices. Like white wedding dresses, veils, and fathers giving away their daughters and handing them off to the groom. Some people like those traditions, but at the core, they are paternalistic. But oh well, the ceremony was nice and not too long.
The entire ceremony and reception was videotaped. (is that what's it's called these days?) Anyway, there was a videographer at the ceremony and reception. We're not talking about somebody hand holding a video camera. No, we're talking full on videotaping. With a crane. I felt like I was an extra on a movie set. In a sense, isn't this what weddings are? The bride and the groom (mostly the bride) are the stars, and everyone else plays a supporting role on the big day.
Dinner was a five-course extravaganza. And being vegetarians, we hardly ate any of it. There were twenty tables, and each one seated twelve. Dinner was served family style, with lots of food at every single table. There was also a collection of liquor at every single table. Holy crap. And the servers were actually replacing the liquor throughout the night. It was insane. The cake was really, really good.
By my estimate, there were about 250 people at the reception. And this is something that I just don't understand: huge guest lists. At some point, it is impossible to spend any meaningful time with your guests. And what's interesting to me is that brides and grooms will always put on some song and dance about how much they appreciate your being there to celebrate their special day. Seriously, who are they kidding? With guest lists longer than Santa's naughty or nice list, it is functionally impossible to take note of or acknowledge the guests' presence in a meaningful way.
I am pretty sure that for the cost of the wedding, the bride and groom could have sent a future child or two to college. I'm not exaggerating. It was that fancy and big. There was actually entertainment, something I had never seen before. A dance troupe had been hired to perform for us. Insane. The cost of the wedding is unfortunate. We are socialized to believe that our wedding day is the biggest and most important day of our lives. Young girls and women are targeted more than boys and men. (ever notice how bride-centric weddings are? you have bridal showers, bridal parties, and bridal registries) The sad thing is that while we buy into the belief that this is our most important day of our lives, we go broke paying for it.
When we arrived at the church, I told Drew that I would refrain from critiquing the wedding until after we got home. And of course, I told him that any critique wasn't a critique of his friends; rather, it was a critique on weddings and society in general. Fortunately, he said that I didn't have to wait until we got home. Oh, and I didn't. I mean, I just couldn't resist when the stretch Hummer limousine pulled up to the church.
Let me first say that I understand that weddings are important to people, and it's an experience that they want to celebrate in the biggest way possible. Although I think that weddings are unnecessarily flashy affairs, I respect people's right to celebrate as they see fit. If this is how people choose to celebrate marriage, I can wholeheartedly support them even if I disagree with it.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, here goes. The ceremony was nice. Patriarchal, but nice. I'm always struck by how people romanticize about patriarchal practices. Like white wedding dresses, veils, and fathers giving away their daughters and handing them off to the groom. Some people like those traditions, but at the core, they are paternalistic. But oh well, the ceremony was nice and not too long.
The entire ceremony and reception was videotaped. (is that what's it's called these days?) Anyway, there was a videographer at the ceremony and reception. We're not talking about somebody hand holding a video camera. No, we're talking full on videotaping. With a crane. I felt like I was an extra on a movie set. In a sense, isn't this what weddings are? The bride and the groom (mostly the bride) are the stars, and everyone else plays a supporting role on the big day.
Dinner was a five-course extravaganza. And being vegetarians, we hardly ate any of it. There were twenty tables, and each one seated twelve. Dinner was served family style, with lots of food at every single table. There was also a collection of liquor at every single table. Holy crap. And the servers were actually replacing the liquor throughout the night. It was insane. The cake was really, really good.
By my estimate, there were about 250 people at the reception. And this is something that I just don't understand: huge guest lists. At some point, it is impossible to spend any meaningful time with your guests. And what's interesting to me is that brides and grooms will always put on some song and dance about how much they appreciate your being there to celebrate their special day. Seriously, who are they kidding? With guest lists longer than Santa's naughty or nice list, it is functionally impossible to take note of or acknowledge the guests' presence in a meaningful way.
I am pretty sure that for the cost of the wedding, the bride and groom could have sent a future child or two to college. I'm not exaggerating. It was that fancy and big. There was actually entertainment, something I had never seen before. A dance troupe had been hired to perform for us. Insane. The cost of the wedding is unfortunate. We are socialized to believe that our wedding day is the biggest and most important day of our lives. Young girls and women are targeted more than boys and men. (ever notice how bride-centric weddings are? you have bridal showers, bridal parties, and bridal registries) The sad thing is that while we buy into the belief that this is our most important day of our lives, we go broke paying for it.
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