Crossword Puzzles: Day 12

People are always saying that the crossword puzzles become more difficult as the week progresses. I've usually dismissed this, but now I reluctantly agree. I'm still dutifully attempting the crossword puzzle everyday. Last week, I did them with my family in Oceanside, but I was back to doing them solo on Saturday. On Sunday, I knew the answers to only 3 clues. Then on Monday, I nearly completed the entire puzzle, leaving only about 5 clues blank. On Tuesday, I was back to completing about a third of the puzzle. Today, I've filled in only 2 clues so far.

It is clear that I don't know my geography. Of course, I don't need a crossword puzzle to tell me this. (I only recently learned that Sierra Leone is a country in Africa, and not an Indonesian island) In yesterday's crossword puzzle, I didn't know the Persian Gulf capital. I'm sure that it's something really easy and obvious, but I don't know what it is. In today's puzzle, I don't know an island east of Java or a Hawaii county seat.

I can't believe it's already day 12! Time sure flies when you're creating a new habit!

blue cheese mac & cheese

I have a confession to make: I like to eat macaroni and cheese from the box. Not Kraft, and not the stuff from Trader Joe's (not cheesy enough), but this organic macaroni and cheese that comes in white cheddar and cheddar. I forget the name of the brand. Anyway, I like to make mac and cheese from the box when I feel lazy and don't want to cook. I have it all down to a science now. I can't eat the whole box, and the leftovers are gross, so I toss out about 3-4 large handfuls of the noodles prior to cooking. This ensures a super cheesy cheese to noodle ratio, and its a pretty perfect serving size.

Upon hearing of my weakness for boxed mac and cheese, one of my friends was appalled and told me that I really need to quit the boxed crap and make the real thing. (I'd like to point out that this is a vegan friend) I knew it was time to kick my mac and cheese habit, especially when it's a vegan telling me to ditch the powdered "cheese" and replace it with the real thing.

Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I got this recipe for Blue Cheese Macaroni and Cheese posted by one of my old college friends. I made this last night, with a few adjustments. I cut the recipe in half for starters. Because I wanted to cut down on calories, I used half and half instead of the whipping cream and 2% milk instead of the whole milk. I added 3 cloves of crushed garlic to the sauce. Then I added almost an entire bag of frozen broccoli. This made a lot of cheesy sauce, and I had enough to go around even with the veggie addition. The blue cheese wasn't overwhelming and it provided a nice kick. The mac and cheese was nice and creamy, and I bet it would taste really good with some crumbled bacon.

This mac and cheese recipe is pretty quick and easy, though you do have to be patient while it cooks in the oven. Even though I do find its powdered "cheese" slightly disturbing, I probably won't kick my boxed mac and cheese habit. But, it's nice to have a good recipe for the real thing when I'm feeling ambitious.

happy holidays

I spent Christmas with the Oceanside family, and I just got back on Saturday afternoon. Here are the holiday highlights:

I finally got around to Christmas shopping early last week. I went to Fashion Island last Sunday, in search of wine charms. Instead, I got distracted by the bakeware at Macy's, cookbooks at Barnes and Noble, and the sale at Bath and Body Works. Clearly, I cannot be trusted to shop for other people. I left Fashion Island without the wine charms and with two scented candles...for myself. So anyway, I was browsing the holiday cards at Barnes and Noble (I'm not sure why since I don't actually send any) and this woman starts to make smalltalk about the lack of card selection and how she forgot to send a card to her insurance man. I thought to myself, what the hell is an insurance man and why does he get a card?

The next day, I picked up my bridesmaid dress at David's Bridal, and then I went to the Irvine Spectrum to complete all of my Christmas shopping. This time, I stuck to my shopping list. Nothing too interesting happened here, except for a funny experience at the Cheesecake Factory. I went in to get a slice of cheesecake to go. When the guy behind the cheesecake counter handed me my cheesecake, he called me "young lady." I hate it when people call me this, but what made this funny was that the guy and I were probably the same age.

Moving on to Oceanside now. I continued my crossword puzzle mission; this time I did the ones in the San Diego newspaper and not the LA Times like I'm used to. The crossword puzzles were more of a group effort in Oceanside, and I learned that completing them in pencil is practically a law in the M household. On the first day, I used a pen to do the crossword puzzle, and everyone looked at me like I was on crack.

Whenever I go to Oceanside for Christmas, we have these recurring conversations about the weather. They go something like this: Someone will complain that it is "cold and freezing." Then I look at that person, roll my eyes, and tell him or her to stop whining. This happened multiple times in the course of 4 days. I told the O-side family that my grandma C had to reschedule Christmas because of the cold weather and snowstorms. They scoffed and said that they would never reschedule Christmas. When it started to rain, they jokingly wondered if we should cancel Christmas. More eye rolling.

There are always lots of laughs whenever I go to Oceanside. The family ikes to make fun of my alleged tendencies to hit on family friends when I've been drinking. We all make fun of each other a lot, particularly my mom's cousin Mike and I. Eileen said that he and I share the Ryan family sense of humor and a witty sarcasm.

So now I'm back in Irvine, stocking up on my sleep and taking advantage of the after Christmas sales. I bought a new cookbook, and I stocked up on bubble baths, body creams, and lotions from Bath and Body Works.

Crossword Puzzles: Day 4

An earlier comment noted that when attempting crossword puzzles, it helps to be of the Baby Boomer generation. I'm 4 days into my crossword puzzle mission, and I can see that crossword puzzle authors do not have my generation in mind. (this explains why my dad was so easily able to finish crossword puzzles that I had started) Some of the clues are impossible for me to solve. Here are some examples from today's crossword:

29 across: Frequent Roy Rogers sidekick
62 across: Roy Rogers rival
5 down: Title hotel employee in a 1960 Jerry Lewis film, with "The"

So, crossword puzzles are a bit of a struggle. However, I am able to get started when I come across clues that utilize my elementary knowledge of Spanish and Italian. Today, I knew that "amore" was the answer to 52 across: Love, Italian-style and "adios" was the answer to 11 down: Acapulco farewell. And, having taken the GRE helps too. Today, I knew that "tamp" was the answer to 8 down: Pack (down). So far, I am able to answer about 1/3 of the clues before giving up.

I'm sending my parents a Christmas package today, and yes, I am also sending yesterday's unfinished crossword puzzle to my dad.

Crossword Puzzles: Day 1

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. If you want to improve yourself, there is no time like the present, that's what I say. Anyway, yesterday I read an article in my Glamour magazine called "Change Your Life in 31 Days." It said that people have these failed attempts at self improvement, and the key to making or breaking a new habit is to commit to a small adjustment for 30 days. Then the article briefly chronicles about a dozen women, the habits they created, and the benefits reaped in 30 days. One women commits to getting in shape by doing push ups every day, another gave up her Starbucks addiction, another stopped reading celebrity gossips sites, etc.

So, I started to think about what habit I would like to make or break. I already read a lot, I read the newspaper, I'm not a TV junkie, and I work out fairly regularly. I considered abstaining from alcohol, but with the holidays and a wedding in the next month, I quickly vetoed that. I settled on crossword puzzles. I used to do crossword puzzles off and on, and it is a habit that I wish I was able to maintain. I am aware of all the benefits of activities that challenge the mind (as if grad school isn't enough, right?), and many studies extol the virtues of crossword puzzles. They help ward off the effects of aging and dementia, and they sharpen the mind.

I began my crossword puzzle quest today. I had forgotten how difficult these can be. I scanned all the clues, and I didn't know the answer to any of them. I considered giving up, but then I remembered that nothing is easy the first time and you can't reap any benefits without challenging yourself. After 15 minutes, I gave up. I knew the answers to only 8 of the clues, and I'm not even sure if some of them were correct.

So, stay tuned. I'm not going to give you a daily play by play, but I'll let you know how the crossword puzzle mission is going. And maybe I'll abstain from alcohol next month.

chaturangas and sugar cookies

Before I proceed with all the holiday baking stuff, I'm going to take a brief yoga divergence. Last night in my yoga class, I was able to do chaturangas the proper way. Not on my knees, not by cheating by sliding on my stomach, but by using my arm muscles to balance and support myself all the way from plank to updog. A couple months ago, one of the yoga instructors demonstrated the proper way to do chaturangas, and I doubted that I would ever have the upper body strength to properly complete the pose. So, I'm pretty excited that I'm able to do chaturangas now.

Okay, now on to the baking. I will be the first to admit that the holiday baking got a little out of hand this year. I blame it on all the grading. So grading is my least favorite thing to do, and I need to take a lot of breaks to get through it. I have a method to my madness: I sort all of my exams into 3 piles according to discussion section, and then I divide each pile into thirds so that I don't grade more than 8 or 9 exams at a time. (This is a trick that I learned from TS, who recommends dividing exams into groups of 10.) After I grade a pile of exams, I allow myself to take a break and do something fun. Usually, something fun is reading a magazine, eating a snack, reading a blog, or checking my Facebook account. Apparently, this time around, the fun activity was baking.

First up: Gingerbread White Chocolate Blondies from the Martha Stewart Cookie Book. Now, Martha Stewart is a little high maintenance, but these blondies were so easy to make. They are absolutely fantastic! When they were cool enough to cut into, I did a taste test and I could not stop eating these (this is pretty uncharacteristic of me).
Next up: This is a recipe from my Grandma C. I don't remember her making these and I don't remember eating them, but my grandma assured me that I have eaten them and that I do like them. I'm not sure what these are called (Jelly Cookies?), but these are a butter cookie rolled in walnuts with apricot preserves in the center. They are really simple, and they taste really good. Grandma, as usual, was right: I really like these cookies.

Finally: it would not be Christmas without sugar cookies. These are a family recipe, but I don't know where it came from. Maybe from one of my aunts. Anyway, this is probably the only time in which I use frosting from a can. This is how we did it when I was growing up, so why mess with tradition? This time, I kept things simple, and I didn't get out the food coloring to make multicolored frosting.
I also made more peanut butter blossoms, and I made peanut clusters. I got some neat-o treat bags so that I could share these with my friends, professors, and others in the department. I was not, however, able to part with the candy cane cookies.

random thoughts; the theme: women

Here are my random thoughts for the day. The theme is women: each of my thoughts has something to do with patriarchal traditions and/or the objectification of women.

You know the generation of men who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to address women as sweetie, babe, honey, etc? You know, the ones who also think it's okay to "affectionately" touch a woman by patting her on the back or brushing their hand against her leg? Yeah, I won't be disappointed when they die off. (I'm not referring to the men who are part of this generation but do not display such behaviors)

Even though I come from the hockey capital of the United States, it was not until last night that I attended my first professional hockey game: the Ducks vs. the Rangers. It was pretty fun, and watching a bunch of guys skating around and chasing a puck makes for pretty good entertainment. So here's the deal: when the puck is not in play, these beautiful size zero women skate out to clear the ice around the goals. They wear tight pants and midriff-bearing tops. One of my friends (from the East Coast) commented that the people who perform this same task at Rangers games are men. And, I talked to my dad today, and he confirmed that it is indeed men who clear the ice at the Minnesota Wild games. Apparently, in Orange County, the only way to include women in sports is by objectifying them. Case in point: at the Angels games, the people who do promotional giveaways and PR stuff are, you guessed it, beautiful size zero women in short shorts and baseball jerseys. (Note: I saw nothing of the sort at Twins games and a Cubs game last spring)

I have been making my way through my holiday movie list. I watched 'Love Actually' last week. This is a movie that has like 10 different storylines concerning the love lives of 10 couples. While I commend the movie for featuring interracial relationships, it falls short in its portrayal of women. Colin Firth's character falls in love with his young, Polish cleaning lady; Hugh Grant's character (as the Prime Minister) falls in love with this young girl who does nothing more than serve him tea and cookies (or biscuits, as the Brits call them, I suppose); Alan Rickman's character (who is married to a successful working woman roughly his age) has this sketchy relationship (bordering a quasi-affair) with his young secretary. Do you see a pattern here? I watch this movie every year, and every year, I get annoyed with myself for watching it.

I was on the Knot today, this all-things-wedding website. (My cousin is getting married, and I was checking to see if he had a wedding webpage) I came across this, a Bride Name Change Kit. Holy fuck! Seriously? Seriously. Uh, women have been easily coerced into embracing this patriarchal tradition, and I don't think they need software to make it easier. Sure, some women think that changing their name when they get married isn't a big deal and that they aren't any less feminist for doing so. Uh, right. I also like how women claim that their husbands did not care if they changed their name. How thoughtful. Your husband gave you permission to keep your own name. Boys get to grow up believing that their identities won't change and assuming that their future wife will take their name. Until it's common for men to change their name when they marry and until it's not assumed that women will just take their husbands identity, changing my name isn't an option. I do realize, however, that this is extremely unlikely to occur in my lifetime.

On Election Day, I was waiting in line to vote. There were 2 women behind me. One asked the other a question about voter registration. She had recently married and changed her name, and she was concerned that she might not be able to vote since the name on the registration rolls and her ID were not the same. I really wanted to turn to her and tell her that if she doesn't have the backbone to keep her own name, then maybe she shouldn't be allowed to cast a vote either. (harsh, I know) Then I heard her say something I seem to hear a lot of women say: "I didn't want to change my name, but..." Seems like it's usually the women who lose the name change battle. (It seems as though they are under the impression that the sky will fall if members of a family have different last names.) And, to make themselves feel better, women have coped by either hyphenating or moving their given last name to their middle name. I don't know which option is more pathetic. With respect to hyphenating, women are still the ones signalling a change in marital status, while men are off the hook. With respect to moving the "maiden" name to the middle name, who actually uses their middle name? Nobody actually knows each other's middle names, so what's the point? I mean, my middle name could be dumbass, for all you know. (by the way, it's Kathryn)

Damn, what's gotten into me today? I'm a little feisty, it seems. All right, the next post will be simply jolly: you'll get some pictures and a chronicle of my baking feats. I like how I just spent this entire post railing against patriarchy and the objectification of women, and then I promise to talk about baking (a traditionally feminine task) in the next post.

candy cane cookies!

It took me all of two minutes to realize that my grandma has more patience than me. This, however, is not difficult. Anyway, I successfully made candy cane cookies last night. They were a little time consuming to assemble, but well worth it. Here they are:

The key to success? Mixing the dough by hand and forgoing the hand mixer. These cookies are so, so good. They are a light butter cookie, sort of like a shortbread. They bake up very nicely, in 9 minutes, exactly as my grandma instructed.

Operation Chocolate Chip Cookie: Trial 15

It is quite possible that the best chocolate cookies could be vegan. And contain oatmeal. And pumpkin. And cinnamon. This is another chocolate chip cookie trial that is purely accidental. I had some leftover pumpkin, and I decided to use it in this new cookie recipe. Tonight, I made vegan pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. (you can find the recipe here, from the Post Punk Kitchen website, this vegan blog). Here is the picture:

These cookies had great texture: chewy, not too soft, not too flat, not crispy, and definitely not fluffy and cake-like. The edges are a bit crunchy, but nice and chewy once you bite into the cookies. I can taste a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg, and the pumpkin is not overpowering. The oats also add some nice texture. These cookies almost glisten- I think the combination of pumpkin and molasses creates this almost candied like texture. There are a lot of flavors going on in these cookies: pumpkin, oatmeal, molasses, cinnamon and nutmeg, and of course, chocolate. Yet, each component nicely complements one another and produces this rich flavor. The chocolate is the main attraction, and the pumpkin, spices, molasses, and oatmeal are the accessories.

candy cane cookies

Today, I called my Grandma C to verify the candy cookie recipe. Never have I discussed a recipe so in depth before. We went through the ingredients list, one by one. She made sure that I knew that I was supposed to use powdered sugar and not granulated sugar. Then she told me exactly how she makes the cookies. I'm going to try the recipe out this weekend, and if the cookies are inedible, I am going to make my grandma fly out to California and bake me cookies.

The temperature is dropping in Minnesota, but when I asked my grandpa about the weather, he said it's "not too bad." I checked the temperature for Minneapolis online. Apparently, "not too bad" is around 20 degrees.

We just wrapped up finals week today. I have about 70 exams to grade and one more paper due on Monday. I turned in my social movements paper yesterday, one that I've been working on pretty much all quarter. Whenever I turn in a paper, I get anxious and worry that my professor will read it and think "what is this crap?" and wonder what the hell I've been doing all quarter. I have got to figure out a way to get over this anxiety.

Operation Chocolate Chip Cookie: Trial 14

After a 2-1/2 month hiatus from the chocolate chip cookie project, today's trial is purely by accident. I've been doing some holiday baking lately, and I was looking through the Martha Stewart Cookie Book for some new recipes. I came across the Chewy Chocolate Gingerbread Cookie, and I knew that I had to make these. The cookies are a gingerbread base with chocolate chips. Take a look:
These cookies are a twist to the traditional chocolate chip cookie, which is why I decided to include this recipe among the trials. They are a little flatter than I would have liked, but I love the gingerbread and chocolate combination. The cookies were a tiny bit crunchy around the perimeter, but nice and chewy once I bit into them. This is a dense cookie, not at all light and fluffy. There is freshly grated ginger in these cookies, giving them this rich, deep gingerbread flavor. Also, I rolled these in granulated sugar prior to baking, and the sugar really makes the cookies glisten. These cookies get bonus points for creativity and for being accidentally vegan.

The holiday baking continues with my mom's Peanut Butter Blossoms recipe. These are soft and fluffy peanut butter cookies with a Hershey Kiss in the middle. The peanut butter flavor is not heavy or overpowering; it's more of a subtle flavor.

write or die

Here is my new favorite tool: Write or Die. That is all.

absence makes the heart grow fonder...for candy cane cookies

Before I talk about cupcakes and cookies, I would like to say a few words about purple potatoes. Purple potatoes intrigued me. They looked kind of strange, and I was a bit apprehensive about cooking with them. Well, now I'm a fan. They are fun, they taste just like all the other potatoes, and they add some neat-o color to your food. I used a combination of purple, red, and gold potatoes to make a chickpea potato curry the other day.

So, it's the holiday season. (This is what the calendar tells me; the weather tells me that it's September or October.) I really enjoy baking any time of the year, but I like it even more during the holidays. I have fond memories of baking cookies and making candy with my family. Each year, I always make sugar cookies and peanut clusters because these were holiday traditions in my home. I haven't held on to every tradition- I don't make peanut brittle or almond bark dipped pretzels. But, I have added a couple of my own. Recently, I have started to make gingerbread each year. This year, I made gingerbread cupcakes.

And, as I've mentioned earlier, I am obsessed with all things pumpkin. So, it would not be the holiday season without it. Below are vegan pumpkin chocolate chip cupcakes with a cinnamon glaze.

Finally, the Oceanside crew has introduced me to these Italian Cookies. They are light, fluffy, and sort of resemble a sugar cookie.

It is embarrassing to admit that most of my baking failures occur when I am following a family recipe. My mom's fudge? While hers is this soft, gooey, fudgy perfection, I couldn't even cut through my version. My Grandma R's cinnamon rolls? My version was crunchy and barely edible. My Grandma C's candy cane cookies? Hers are these delicate, crisp, peppermint-y cookies. Mine are simply a disaster.

I never realized how much I loved my Grandma's candy cane cookies until I moved to California and didn't eat them every year. My Grandma bakes a lot, and you can always count on her for cookies. She bakes batches of cookies and bars and then she freezes them so that there is always something sweet on hand for her and my grandpa, or for unexpected guests. I guess that this habit runs in the family: I tend to do the same. After all, you never know when you're going to get hit by a cookie craving.

I'm calling my grandma this weekend to talk about candy cane cookies. I'm going to verify that I have the correct recipe, and I'm going to ask my grandma to share any helpful hints. While there are some family recipes that I could do without (anything with jello), candy cane cookies are one holiday tradition that I would like to continue.

we were the minnesota mafia

In 2001, I applied to work at Whispering Hills Girl Scout Camp for the summer. It was probably one of the best spur-of-the-moment decisions that I have ever made. I had been a Girl Scout all of my life, I had gone to Girl Scout Camp, and I had volunteered at camp as a counselor-in-training. So when I decided that I needed a change of scenery after a break up, it made sense to spend a summer sans men. Working at Girl Scout Camp was simultaneously the best job I've ever had and the most stressful. As counselors, we did everything together: work, live, laugh, play, and cry. I always credit working at camp as shaping who I have become. Looking back, I had a strong sense of my values and who I was, and I think I became the person that I wanted to be during my camp experience.

In 2001, I met Sardean and Hawkeye. Though we were friends during my first summer, we became even closer in 2002. At Girl Scout Camp, all of the counselors and staff members have camp names. Mine is flounder (I don't know why I don't capitalize the f; I just think my name looks better lowercase). To this day, we still address each other by our camp names. When Hawkeye took a job with the Girl Scout Council in South Carolina, Sardean and I followed her and worked at the Girl Scout Camp over the summer. Sardean was there from 2003 to 2005, and I was there in 2003 and 2005. It was in South Carolina that we were dubbed the Minnesota Mafia.

(Here we are at Sardean's wedding in the summer of 2007. From left to right, Hawkeye, Sardean, flounder.)

I remember the first time that I met Sardean. We were about 12 or so, and we were at this winter Girl Scout camping event. We shared a sled while sledding down this hill at Whispering Hills, and we hit a tree. From then on, we were tree buddies. Fast forward nearly 10 years, and we met again in 2001. I always refer to the sledding incident as the first time that we met, but Sardean tells a different story. During pre-camp training, Sardean and I were assigned to the same cabin. On that first night, we were getting ready for bed and talking. The floor of the cabin was a cold and dirty concrete, so as we were talking, I stood up on my bed and changed my clothes. While I did this discretely, Sardean always refers to this as a strip show. She says that at that moment, she knew we would always be friends.

After the summer of 2001, Hawkeye and I lived about 10 minutes from each other but we never visited. I was living in New York City, and she was just a short train ride away in New Jersey. It is ironic that that was the closest in proximity that we have ever lived, yet we never saw each other. After that year, we have always been separated by thousands of miles. I became Hawkeye's unofficial assistant camp director in 2002. My official title was the business manager, and I was in charge of the trading post, which is like the camp store. At the beginning of the summer, I held a contest among staff members to rename the trading post. We called it 'flounder's Bait Shop and Knick Knack Shack.' I had these hanging animals in the trading post that made animal noises when you depressed their stomachs. Hawkeye used to come in and press all the buttons to produce this cacophony of animal noises. She also used to steal the hanging animals too. I think that I might have banned her from the trading post. Hawkeye and I used to make these late night trips to LaCrosse for camp supplies. We were always tired, and we talked a lot to stay awake. One time, we thought we saw this gigantic tree morph and come to life; we called it the tree monster. In 2002, we also tried to solve this little camp mystery. It involved taking down a door, piecing together a letter, and a near dumpster diving excursion. And, good detectives that we were, I think we solved the case.

We did lots of silly and fun things at Girl Scout Camp. Some of the stories may be inappropriate for this blog. We played a lot on our time off: movies, eating out, shopping, etc. Halfway through the summer of 2002, we took a staff trip to this tattoo parlor for daisy tattoos. (There is this camp song about having a daisy tattoo on the second toe of your left foot. ) So, four of us got daisy tattoos, Sardean and I being two of the four. In 2001, we took a staff canoe trip down the Root River and met these middle aged men partying on a sand bar with a keg. Lots of things happened that day: a thunderstorm, a capsized canoe, and I sort of hit a guy on the head with my canoe paddle.

In 2003, Sardean and I went to South Carolina, the land of confederate flags, super hot and humid weather, and no Asian people. It was a bit of a cultural shock, but it was a good summer. I became obsessed with the Waffle House, and sometimes we would go there to eat breakfast in our pajamas. At the end of the summer, Hawkeye, Sardean, and I took a trip to Myrtle Beach and Charleston. Below is a photo of us taken in one of those Old Time Photo shops.

Sardean went back to South Carolina in 2004, and we both returned in 2005. This is when I grew tired of hearing all the Southern accents, I decided that I never wanted to live below the Mason-Dixon line, and I couldn't wait to go back to Minnesota. In a month, I will be back in Columbia for Hawkeye's wedding. And, I'm kind of looking forward to visiting South Carolina again. The three of us are excited to be reunited again. I'm not sure if we have any ongoing traditions, but one of them might be tie-dying. We tie-dyed underwear, t-shirts, and pillowcases pretty much every year at Girl Scout Camp, and we tie-dyed underwear the night before Sardean's wedding. I think the tradition is going to continue. I talked to Sardean the other day, and she said that tie-dying underwear is something we should do when we each get married.

When I worked at Girl Scout Camp in 2001, I never thought that I would make such good friends. I had no idea that Hawkeye, Sardean and I would still be friends so many years later, be in each others' weddings, and be aunties to each others' children. Yet, here were are, eight years later: these friends have become the family that I have chosen.

best return address labels ever

So, in an earlier post, I complained about how organizations use return address labels to solicit donations. I complained that it was ridiculous that these organizations think that a whole bunch of address labels would motivate me to donate money. I complained that I don't even really need that many address labels. Well, that was before today. I just got home, I got the mail, and I got something from the University of Minnesota. What was it, you ask? University of Minnesota address labels! The alumnae association, in an attempt to solicit money, has sent me 48 address labels! I'm so excited! It's Goldy Gopher, casually standing next to the Block M. Considering that I use address labels only for when I send mail to my grandparents, I feel like writing them a whole bunch of letters now. Like 48.

Thanksgiving Highlights

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving! I am back from Oceanside, nice and refreshed and ready to finish out the quarter. Here are the Thanksgiving highlights:

I learned how to make stuffing. Karen got out this big bowl and we dumped a whole bunch of bread cubes into it. While she dumped in spices, chicken broth, eggs, and sauteed onions and mushrooms, I vigorously stirred it all together. Eileen was pretty impressed. And, apparently, you really do need to use lots of butter when making stuffing.

Toasted pecans are the secret to a great pecan pie. Karen made an awesome pecan pie, and I got the recipe. Oh so good. That is all.

I was watching the football game on Thanksgiving day, and the NFL kept airing these commercials about its campaign to fight childhood obesity. I'm sitting there, passing the time until it's time to eat, and I'm thinking to myself, "It's Thanksgiving; can't the fight for childhood obesity wait until tomorrow?" Oh, and the Jonas Brothers performed during halftime. Or, as I like to refer to them: "Hanson, Part 2."

We went out shopping on Black Friday. Kylie wanted to leave the house at 6 in the morning, but Karen quickly vetoed that and we left at 8. The stores were not as crowded as I'd anticipated, and I got some good deals on some clothes. So, there were 2 San Diego Chargers cheerleaders standing outside of this store autographing Chargers cheerleaders calendars. Of course, they were wearing their midriff-bearing uniforms that show lots of leg. The best part? The store was right next to Santa's workshop; you know, the North Pole replica with snow and elves. About 10 feet from the scantily clad cheerleaders were kids waiting to get their pictures taken with Santa Claus. Hilarious! The irony! I can't even make this stuff up!

I've decided that the Ugg in Ugg boots is short for Ugly. Enough said.

I went to Kellen and Cole's high school's football game on Friday night; it's playoff season. It was my first football game in California, and the first that I'd been to since my marching band days at the University of Minnesota. In contrast to the playoff games I went to in high school, there was no snow on Friday night.

In the downtime in Oceanside, I like to watch the Food Network. (I don't get this channel in Irvine) I was watching this show hosted by Guy Fieri, and he was asking people which holiday family recipe they wish would just die. And I thought to myself, "anything with Jello."

I've been here for 2 years, and for the first time my family asked me some pointed questions about my program and research. They asked how much longer I would be at UCI, and I joked that they must be getting tired of seeing me at family holidays. Anyway, I gave them a general idea of my program requirements: 3 qualifying papers, advancement exams, prospectus, and dissertation. They sure were curious, so I started to talk about my papers. I told them that my first paper was about abortion rates and social spending. Their response? Silence. I chuckled and joked that nothing halts a conversation like abortion. That lightened the mood. I told them that my research interests just get more depressing and that it's all downhill after abortion. I explained that my second paper is on the anti-rape movement. They were interested and listened while I briefly discussed that paper. Then, because I just can't quit while I'm ahead, I told them that I was doing a lot of reading about female genital mutilation. They asked what my dissertation would be about, and I told them that I didn't know but that it would probably encompass citizenship, female sexuality, and bodily integrity and control. I think that I may have ensured that my family will never again make the mistake of asking me about my program and research interests.

Audrey, my 80 some year old great aunt, watches the Daily Show! She says that this is how she gets the news! (along with reading the LA Times and Time magazine) I find this to be so surprising and amusing all at the same time. Cool points for Audrey.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, so I guess it's officially the holiday season. I don't think that I will ever get used to listening to Christmas music and seeing Christmas decorations while simultaneously experiencing 70 degree weather.

Tonight, I made eggnog poundcake. It tastes good, but not quite eggnog-y enough for me. I love, love, love eggnog!

feminist kitchen boycotts

I am headed to Oceanside tonight for Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to the break from school, the chance to spend time with the family, and some good Thanksgiving food. I have been craving stuffing and pumpkin pie for quite some time now. I know that I can make "thanksgiving food" anytime of the year, but I am convinced that I lack the ability to make good holiday food. I tried my hand at stuffing last year, and it just wasn't very good. I think it's because I was appalled by the amount of the butter that the recipe called for, and so I just omitted it. Apparently, butter is what makes the stuffing good.

This might come as a surprise to people, but I don't cook for the holidays. I made a pumpkin pie once, but I don't know how to make a turkey or stuffing. Friends have asked if I'm cooking for Thanksgiving, and they seem surprised that I'm not. The thing is, I've been boycotting the kitchen during the holidays since I've been old enough to be asked to help out. See, the feminist in me just doesn't think it's fair that the women slave over holiday meals while the men just get to carve the turkey. I don't believe in perpetuating the sexual division of labor and the gendered production of holiday meals. However, I think my attempts to make a feminist statement are futile. I'm not sure that my relatives realize that my boycott is feminist motivated and that I'm challenging gender norms; instead, they probably think that I'm just being lazy.

So how do women learn to choreograph big holiday meals? This seriously amazes me. Am I missing out on important holiday meal lessons by boycotting the kitchen? And while we're on the subject of turkeys, I don't understand this whole presidential turkey pardon. It seems strange to spare the life of one turkey while so many others suffer a different fate. What's the point?

Okay, I'm done now. Have a good Thanksgiving!

2 down, 1 to go

We're nearing the end of the quarter, and yoga is keeping me sane. Tonight we did headstands, something I had not done since my gymnastics days. The end of the quarter is always stressful and busy, namely because we are busy writing class papers. I feel like I'm in a good place; for the first time ever, I actually got started early, so I have a good start on 2 of my 3 class papers. Today, a colleague and I presented our research design examining ballot initiatives and same sex marriage bans. The presentation went really well, and we got some helpful feedback. Go us. Stay tuned for updates.

All right, now on to the frivolous stuff. Today I got some return address labels from the St. Jude's Hospital, presumably because this is supposed to be an incentive for donating money. Occasionally, I get return address labels from different organizations that want money. This is what I wonder: How many letters do these organizations think I send? Why would I need so many return address labels? And, seriously, who thinks that return address labels are a good incentive?

We don't get the Food Network. To cope, I have started to watch Amazing Wedding Cakes on the Women's Entertainment channel. The program follows 3 bakeries, and each episode focuses on a different cake project in each bakery. Cake decorating looks really cool, but really time consuming. And, they have to start early with the cake stuff- cakes are baked like 4 days ahead of the delivery date. So, while I'm really impressed by all the cake decorating and cake construction, I wonder if the cake tastes like crap. Is it really dry? What are the tradeoffs for having a super cool looking cake?

simply recipes=online recipe bible

I am obsessed with all things pumpkin right now. I've baked pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin muffins, and now pumpkin bread. I ate some pumpkin chocolate bread at Peet's last Friday, and I knew that I could bake a better loaf. So I went home and found a recipe online. Against my normal baking practices, I tried a recipe from this unknown blog. The bread was awful and disappointing. So I modified a recipe from the Simply Recipes blog, my online recipe bible. I drizzled a layer of melted chocolate in between the batter. It was awesome. My roommate raved. I took 2 loaves (one with chocolate, one without) to my comparative legal institutions class on Monday. I don't mean to brag, but I'm going to--I got more rave reviews.

Thanks to Simply Recipes, I can now make Chinese food too. So, I used to not to make Chinese food myself because it intimidated me. Then I tried out a couple recipes posted from this guest blogger from the Steamy Kitchen: Modern Asian Cooking blog. So far I have made Sweet and Sour Chicken and Broccoli Beef. Oh and fried rice. I cannot express how happy it makes me to know that I don't need to pop open a bag of frozen veggies to make Chinese food. When I learn how to make Sesame Chicken, I think my life will be complete.

random

I'm sending Thanksgiving cards to my grandparents. The postage stamps are Alzheimer's awareness stamps. I hope that they don't notice. They don't have Alzheimer's, and I don't want them to think that I'm implying that they might have it. Anyway, it's the post office's fault; I buy whatever stamp design that they give me! I'm thinking way too much about this. They aren't even going to notice because they're going to be so ecstatic to get a card from their favorite granddaughter!

it was ours to lose

This pretty much sums up the loss on Prop 8, the ballot initiative that amended the state constitution to say that marriage is only between one man and one woman. It's been a week now, and lots has happened.

There have been protests and rallies throughout California by those in favor of same sex marriage (the No on 8 side). Some of these protests are taking place outside of megachurches and Mormon temples, presumably because these institutions funneled a lot of money into the Yes on 8 campaign. In the meantime, Prop 8 supporters are frustrated by the ongoing protests. In their opinion, we all voted and our side lost, so the case is closed. I attended a rally last Saturday in Laguna Beach. We met at the City Hall and marched a few blocks to the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) to demonstrate. There were about a few hundred people or so carrying signs, candles, chanting, etc. It was so great to see so many people who refuse to back down simply because Prop 8 passed.

Since the passage of Prop 8, we have seen the demographics of who voted in favor and against the initiative. Most of the demographics were split fairly evenly, but blacks are the only demographic that overwhelmingly opposed same sex marriage. They voted 2 to 1 in favor of Prop 8. Because of this, they are being scapegoated and many cannot understand why an oppressed group would vote to oppress another minority group. I don't think that blacks are to blame, and I can understand why they may not be avid supporters of same sex marriage. I read an interesting editorial that points out the white bias in the No on 8 campaign. The No on 8 failed to garner black support because same sex marriage does nothing to address issues that are more of a concern to blacks: poverty, HIV, health care, homelessness, unemployment, incarceration rates, etc. In other words, why would they care about same sex marriage when there are more immediate things to worry about? The No on 8 campaign did not give blacks a compelling reason to support same sex marriage.

Opponents of same sex marriage argue that it disrupts the natural order and goes against the bible. Right, this is the part of the bible that says that women are inferior to men. I support same sex marriage precisely because it disrupts this so-called natural order. Opponents of same sex marriage also argue that children have the right to a mother and a father. They believe that without marriage and without the sharing of genetic material, parents lack an incentive to stay together and raise their children. Presumably, this incentive works. Until the couple divorce. And what are we saying here? That parents who do not share genetic material with their children are any less committed to being good parents?

History is on our side, and it is only a matter of time before we legalize same sex marriage. It has always been our practice to expand democratic rights, not take them away. Those against same sex marriage may have won the battle, but they have not won the war.

i was walking down ring road

No matter the outcome, we knew that history was going to be made last night. I waited an hour to vote for the first black president, much longer than I'd waited any other time at the polls. Although I never became addicted to the Obama Kool-Aid, I felt really good when I cast my vote. I went to an election night party hosted by the department, and left around 8. A couple friends and I headed to the pub, and the race was called while we were in transit on ring road. So, when I look back and think about where I was and what I was doing when we elected our first black president, I apparently will say that I was walking down ring road. It sounds so silly.

The pub had a pretty good turnout. It was inspiring to see so many politically engaged college students. McCain graciously conceded, and a little piece of me felt sad that we were not going to have our first woman vice president. Still, I knew how amazing this night was, considering the fact that the Brown decision and Civil Rights Act occurred only in the last 50 or so years. As I listened to Obama speak, and as I watched his family join him on stage, it was amazing to see someone other than a white man as the president-elect. That people of color can achieve the highest elected office in the US and be a leader is such a powerful image.

One of my friends said that he is so proud of what Obama's victory says about us. I say that I'm proud of what Obama's victory says about what we can become. It changes our conceptions of our leaders. It says that white men are not intrinsically better leaders. It says that people of color can be in positions of power. Some may be uncomfortable about this, but it's inevitable and people of color are going to demonstrate that they can be leaders too. When we think of who can be in a position of power and who can be a leader, we won't automatically assume that it's a white man. Obama will have an effect on our country simply by being.

Happy Election Eve

So, I guess in my world, tomorrow is practically a national holiday. Here are a few thoughts on this Election Eve. In my discussion sections this week, we are going to talk about the election. For my students, this is their first and probably only election experience occurring while they're in college. For me, it's my third. So, I was thinking that this presidential election would be the first one that I would experience without the cold weather and snow. I just checked the weather forecast, and it turns out that I would be able to say the same thing if I were in Minnesota right now. It's supposed to be 65 degrees in Minneapolis and Irvine tomorrow. Weird.

My students were really impressive today, and I expect the remaining two sections will be too. My goal was to get my students to think critically and formulate their own opinions instead of simply memorizing and regurgitating material. We talked about the electoral college and how our vote doesn't really matter since California always goes blue. They talked about the alternatives to the electoral college and the tradeoffs. They also discussed how it didn't seem fair that candidates spend all of their time campaigning in the swing states and ignoring our state.

Then we moved on and talked about young people and voting. Statistics tell us that young people just don't show up to the polls and vote, leaving this demographic underrepresented. In 2004, we thought that that was going to be the election in which more young people would turn up at the polls. We thought the same thing in the 2008 primaries, and we think the same thing about tomorrow. However, voter turnout among the young is not substantially increasing. One of my students pointed out that turnout is low among all demographics, so maybe people should just lighten up among the alleged apathy among the young. Good point. They may not be as disengaged as we may think.

Finally, we moved on to judicial appointments and whether or not the Supreme Court can produce social change. I'm TAing an Intro to Law class, so I had to guide the discussion to this topic. We discussed the capacity of the Supreme Court to make change and whether or not it was its role to do so. Particularly, we discussed Proposition 8 and whether it was undemocratic for the state Supreme Court to legalize same-sex marriage. We talked about whether or not a ballot proposition is more appropriate and in line with our democratic ideals. In the end, they decided that sometimes the Supreme Court needs to step in and act as a referee when other branches of government or when the people infringe upon the rights of a minority. All in all, it was a great section, and I'm excited for the next 2.

I went to an Election Panel Discussion today hosted by the department. Five of our professors gave a quick five minute presentation on a topic relevant to the election. CK discussed racial politics. Obama has been accused of being Muslim, and he is accused of having associations with an alleged "terrorist". Opponents sometimes use his middle name, Hussein, in attempts to associate him with Saddam Hussein. Anyway, CK talked about how Arab, Muslim, and terrorist have somehow all become synonymous with each other. And, Arabs and Muslims have been constructed in a way that places them at the bottom of the racial hierarchy, perhaps replacing blacks.

BG talked about voting behavior in the presidential elections. The Midwest is confused and fluctuates, the Pacific West is getting more liberal, and the Mountain West is becoming more conservative. New England is getting more liberal, and I forgot what he said about the South. All right, what else? LD talked about how both campaigns have failed to reach out to Latinos. However, most live in non battleground states: California, Texas, New York, and Illinois. That might explain the lack of attention; candidates pay more attention to the swing states. Anyway, I was just surprised that Illinois had such a large Latino population.

Finally, CU talked about political participation. Voter registration is up in the contested states, and we're still waiting for young people to surprise us all and show up at the polls in substantial numbers. Turnout among young people just isn't going up, despite what the media would have us believe. CU also told us that the VP candidate usually doesn't make a difference in the presidential race. Usually, the VP choice doesn't help or hinder the presidential candidate's chance of winning. But, it's different now, and now the VP choice matters in this race. Stay tuned.

things I learned this week

Today I learned the hard way that milk chocolate chips are no substitute for semi-sweet chocolate chips. See, I took a break tonight to bake cupcakes for tomorrow's colloquium. My recipe for chocolate buttercream frosting called for melted semi-sweet chocolate chips. I tried to use milk chocolate chips instead; this resulted in this horrible, soupy chocolate mess. So, I made a vanilla buttercream frosting instead.

The other day in the library, I came to the realization that I study public law. I always thought of myself as someone who studies race and gender politics, not public law. But, apparently, I do. I mean, how many times can a girl find herself in the law section of the library and not put two and two together?

missing snow

One of my friends asked me how I felt at this time during my first year of grad school. I told her that I was too busy mourning the cold weather that I had left behind in Minnesota to have any anxiety about school. Instead of worrying that I wasn't measuring up or that I didn't belong in grad school, I was mourning the loss of crisp weather, plummeting temperatures, frost, the changing leaf colors, and snow. Instead of worrying that I had made a mistake by going to grad school, I was worrying that I had made a mistake by going to grad school in California.

It snowed in Minnesota today. I am getting used to the fact that while my family and friends are cold in snowy Minnesota, I am here in 80 degree sunny California. As Halloween draws near, I find it ironic that as an adult, I am in a climate where there is no worry that it will be too cold to go trick-or-treating. There is no worry that a Halloween costume will be ruined by a winter coat, or that it may snow.

I don't plan to stay in Southern California after I'm through with grad school. I need to return to a climate with below zero temperatures and snow. Until then, I'm going to take advantage of the perpetually sunny days and nice weather. I'm already planning a beach day next weekend.

the art of the qualifying paper

"Qualifying papers are a great opportunity to test drive research topics, methods, and faculty."

"I know it when I see it." --Justice Potter Stewart in Jacobellis v. Ohio; professors on qualifying papers.

"Don't get it right, get it written."

We have to write 3 qualifying papers before we advance to candidacy. What does a qualifying paper look like? A paper that gets the approval of 2 professors. Since we are in the business of doing research, qualifying papers are how we learn to do it. Papers should be of publishable quality, but there are not necessarily uniform standards.

Yesterday's colloquium focused on writing qualifying papers. There were 3 professors and 3 advanced graduate students on the panel, answering questions and doling out helpful hints. Here is what they said, and I invite your additional suggestions.

Turn class papers into qualifying papers. This is not a requirement, but this is usually the most efficient way to do it. Think of it as expanding and polishing a class paper.

Shop around for readers. One panelist said that they went to 5 professors with a research idea, and it was the 6th professor that saw its potential.

Find a 2nd reader early. If we need suggestions on who to ask to be a 2nd reader, we can ask our 1st reader. We can also ask other grad students. Get the 2nd reader involved in the project early on; one professor had a student come to them with a finished paper, asking them to be a 2nd reader. This professor was not pleased, and said they would sign off if the student wrote a new paper. Moral of the story? Get 2 people on board from the beginning.

Play the field. Qualifying papers do not have to be about the same topic, and they do not have to be the stepping stone to the dissertation. One professor said that they have seen students with 3 qualifying papers that looked very different, and they have seen students with papers that paved the way towards dissertation. Also, papers do not have to use the same methods or readers. Cast a wide net, and use qualifying papers as the opportunity to develop professional relationships with many professors. Eventually, we will have to build a committee of 5 people, and we don't want to be scrambling around at the last minute to find committee members. This is the time to test drive research interests, faculty, and methods. Date around; we can have flings with qualifying papers, but we marry the dissertation.

Plan to write multiple drafts. We might go 2 rounds; we might go 10 rounds. Don't take feedback personally; this has nothing to do with us as a person. And remember, it is not necessarily in our best interest to get a quick sign-off; we learn and get better with each draft. Professors are helping us learn to do research, and don't we want to do it well?

Don't put it off until the summer. Whenever we don't have time to do something, we seem to think we'll do it over the summer. Don't add qualifying papers to this list. It won't get done. We will have other things to do, professors are not around, and we may not be around over the summer. More importantly, we have to learn how to juggle multiple responsibilities now.

Proofread. Submitting a draft full of grammar errors is like serving soup with a dirty spoon.

Start early and plan ahead. It puts us and the professors in a difficult position if we submit a draft and need their approval in order to get TA funding. If we plan ahead, things will fall into place when they need to.

Focus on ourselves. As difficult as it may seem, we need to focus on our own progress. Sure, other people may get a paper done before us, but it has no bearing on our lives. Understand that we make our own paths in graduate school: we are different, we work with different professors, we have different research interests, we work with different data, etc. Besides, we are not competing against each other. We are competing with some grad student at some other school.

Take opportunities as they come. Yes, we have to write 3 qualifying papers, but there are so many skills that we need to build the foundation to our careers. So, if we have the opportunity to learn statistics at ICPSR or qualitative methods at IQMR, we go do it.

Give the paper a longer life span. Present it at conferences and submit it for publication. What do we have to lose? It's a great way to build our CVs.

Show drafts work to other grad students. This is a great way to get feedback before we submit a draft to professors. Forming a working group keeps everyone accountable and on track.

Keep memos. Qualifying papers are meant to simulate the journal submission process: we get feedback from 2 readers and must make revisions to satisfy the two of them. One panelist said that they make and submit a memo with each new draft discussing how they have addressed each reader's comments. This lets the readers know how we have addressed their points, or we can use this memo to discuss why we have not.

Celebrate!!! We have few opportunities to celebrate in graduate school. Take time to celebrate each milestone.

about me

I like to walk barefoot in the grass. I hate orange juice pulp. I like the smell of fresh cut grass. I miss the crisp, cold Minnesota air. The kind that comes way too early, around October. I hate licorice. I miss the below zero temperatures and freshly fallen snow. I love to cook, but I hate making sandwiches. I am scared of snakes. I have a difficult time following the plot lines of a lot of movies. When I think of all the courageous women who fought so hard for women's rights (or anyone who has fought for any cause), I wonder if I would be brave enough and strong enough to do the same. I think I am really funny, and I often laugh at my own jokes. I like to bake, but I don't have a sweet tooth. I buy pints of ice cream, eat a serving, put it back in the freezer and forget about it until months later. I love fresh flowers. I eat cold pizza. Chinese food just isn't complete without an egg roll. I like to read blogs, but I limit myself to a few select food blogs and blogs that my friends write. I was a Girl Scout growing up and I worked at Girl Scout camp, but I still don't see the appeal of Thin Mints. I know that this is un-Minnesotan, but I don't really like hockey. Sure, I'll go to a game, I like the atmosphere, the smell of the ice, Miracle, and the Mighty Ducks, but I get bored watching a bunch of skaters chase around a puck. I read gossip magazines at the gym. I love to lie on the beach and stick my toes in the sand. I am scared of heights. When I miss the movie previews, I actually feel a little annoyed. I have a strangely good sense of direction. Sometimes I am too lazy to floss my teeth. Then, while I'm brushing them, I feel guilty and floss them anyway. I make brunch every Sunday.

the effect of just being

Two posts in one day! It must be your lucky day! Tonight, I went to a CSD (Center for the Study of Democracy) dinner- Jane Mansbridge was our guest tonight. She presented a paper on the role of self interest in deliberative democracy. It was just too philosphical and too full of political theory for me.

Anyway, these dinners are a good chance to socialize with other grad students and professors. You can talk shop, but it's fun when the conversation is informal and not about school. The real value of the evening came from a few kind words from a fellow grad student seated next to me. We talked about our paths to grad school and what brought us here. She used to be a lawyer, and I find it fascinating to learn about those who had these alternate careers prior to grad school.

Like so many others, I decided to go to grad school because I wanted to make a difference. I care so passionately about women's rights, and I always knew that my career would be devoted to empowering women. Many times, I struggle with how much impact my research can really have on society and if it makes a difference. Yet, I think of all those feminist theorists who devoted their lives to changing the way that we think, raising awareness, and challenging the dominant paradigm. I think about how we wouldn't have women's studies departments if those women thought that their written words would not make a difference. And so, I keep going because I can't imagine there being a body of literature that doesn't include race and gender studies. I can't imagine there being this body of knowledge that we just don't know. I can't imagine there not being this challenge to patriarchy and white privilege.

Anyway, back to tonight. I briefly summed up my concern that research may not be the best way for me to work for the advancement of women. You know what she said to me? She said that I make an impact by "just being." She said that if I am in a room full of men, I automatically and subtly shift the mood and conversation, so to speak. She said that when I TA, students see that women of color are grad students and can be professors too. Simply by being, I shift conceptions of who is knowledgeable and who has authority in the classroom. Simply by being, I have the ability to change minds.

I started to understand. On Monday, this guy in my grad seminars said something about "female congressmen." I laughed out loud, bringing this gender exclusive language to everyone's attention. Now I understand what my colleague was saying. Had I not been in this class, I wonder if anyone would have demanded the use of a gender-neutral pronoun. Further, having the mere presence of women in the seminar probably would have been enough to draw attention to the problem with saying "congressman".

All right, I just wanted to share that warm fuzzy with you. My colleague's kind words were just the support and reassurance that I needed.

i can't think of a title

I have a newfound appreciation for good classes and engaging professors. I'm sitting in class right now, blogging, so this is a pretty good indication of how much I dislike this class. I am taking 3 classes this quarter: Comparative Legal Institutions, Social Movements, and Immigrant America. I'm pretty happy with the first class, really happy with the second, and so incredibly disappointed with the third. Guess which class I'm sitting in right now?

Graduate seminars are generally a time to discuss/analyze the assigned readings, think about the course material, and toss around ideas. My favorite seminars are the ones where the students dominate the conversation and guide the discussion. It's just a great way to learn. As a third year, I feel ready and eager to engage with the material and talk about it. This just doesn't happen in my Immigration class, and to me, this is a disservice to the students. Instead, the professor tells us lots of random immigration stories and basically talks for nearly 3 hours straight. I never thought that I would say this, but this class is probably worse than the required Foundations of Political Science class we had to take our first quarter in grad school. And I really, really disliked that class.

Grrrr, ten more minutes and counting down...

who's afraid of (gender) equality?

After a rather frivolous post, here's something more thought provoking. Election Day is a little over 2 weeks away. I live in a state that is sure to go blue, and ironically, it could also pass a proposition that would eliminate same sex marriage. Things are getting ugly here. There are nasty TV ads. And then activists (on each side) have taken to the streets, waving signs with catchy slogans to generate support and garner votes.

The latest ad to hit the airwaves seeks to instill fear among parents. There is this little girl who comes home from school and tells her mother that she has learned that a prince can marry a prince and a princess can marry a princess. The truth is, there is no law that requires a marriage curriculum to be taught in schools.

I find it interesting how people can have such strong opinions on privacy issues that have no bearing on their lives. Someone I know married their same sex partner over the summer, and I only noticed because they were wearing a wedding band. Thus far, who this person has chosen to love has had no impact upon my life.

We say that marriage is about love, companionship, and finding a life partner. Or something like that. You haven't truly lived a fulfilling life until you get married. Your life is empty until you find someone to share it with. And so on. Yet, if this were the truth, why would we reserve marriage for only certain individuals? Well, I argue that this is about gender equality. Wait a second. How the hell did I jump from privacy to love to gender equality?

Marriage originated as an institution that subordinated women to men. In exchange for household labor and uh, sex, wives depended upon their husbands for well, an identity, economic security, protection, and more. (As recently as the 1990s, some states did not even have laws criminalizing spousal rape) Yes, marriage has been redefined and we try not to think of it as a transfer of property from a father to a husband. Yet, it's still a patriarchal institution. Women are passive and wait for a proposal. Women wear engagement rings, demonstrating that they belong to someone. Women still take their husbands' names. Fathers still give away their daughters on their wedding day. (Oh, and some men ask these fathers for permission to marry their daughters. Some may think it's romantic. I think it's insulting.) Following marriage, there is still a sexual division of labor in the household. Women assume a greater bulk of the household duties, and they are usually the primary caregivers. Most women are still financially dependent upon their husbands. Sure, there may be outliers that think that they have truly equal partnerships. Yet, marriage, as an institution, is still patriarchal (and it's my belief that women are duped into it by diamonds, pretty dresses, and bridal registries- but that's a different subject).

So, now same-sex marriage is turning this patriarchal institution on its head. Some think it's simply wrong. Some believe that it needs to be stopped. And sadly, some are going so far as to seek a constitutional amendment to protect marriage. (uh, from what? Heteros have been screwing it up for years!) If we let gay people get married, we run out of excuses. We run out of reasons to subordinate women simply because they are women. Now we'll have men who will change their names, and women who will get to keep theirs. We'll have men who will assume household and caregiving responsibilities. We'll see that men can cook, clean, and change a diaper (and not just occasionally, but all the time). We'll find out that men are capable and nurturing parents. We'll find out that women can be breadwinners, too. We'll learn that women can be heads of households. Studies have shown that same sex couples are more egalitarian than their hetero counterparts. When we see all of this, we will run out of reasons to justify patriarchy.

Many argue that we should vote no against Prop 8 to guarantee equality for homosexuals. I also argue that we should vote no to guarantee equality for women too.

random thoughts

It has been about 15 years since I was in gymnastics, and I've realized that I can no longer do handstands and bridges like I used to. Tragic. I used to be able to do backbends and backwalkovers, and now I can barely do a handstand against the wall. Yesterday in yoga I learned that I can no longer do these gymnastic-y skills. BUT despite my lack of upper body strength, I can do crow, I am getting more flexible, and I feel my muscles getting stronger everyday. Stay tuned for the day that I can do handstands and bridges again.

I really have nothing exciting to say, but you probably already figured that out. Yesterday, we had our first Race/Ethnicity/Gender group meeting, and I presented my abortion rates paper. I got some good feedback. The next step will be revisions; then I'll send it out to see if it finds a home in some journal.

I made some awesome Sweet and Sour Chicken the other day. Try this recipe. It was so amazingly good; my words just aren't doing it justice.

a chilly beach day

We are headed into our 3rd week, and I've noticed that some of the first year grad students seem to be asking the same question (more or less) over and over again: How do you manage your time? Do you have time to have fun? What do you do for fun? And so on. See, in grad school, you're not supposed to act as if you have all the time in the world. It's like the grad school culture reinforces this idea that we're supposed to work all the time and act as if this is the case.

I'm still trying to figure out how to be productive and manage my time. So far, I've found that being disciplined and being less social around the office has definitely increased my productivity. I try not to work at night, but this guideline tends to go out the window as the end of the quarter nears. And, I try not to work on Friday or Saturday nights, but again, this is only a guideline.

The habits that we develop now will stick with us for the rest of our careers, so I'm trying to develop good ones. After all, I can't put fun and play on hold while I'm in grad school. I took Friday night off for dinner and a movie with a friend. Yesterday was a busy day involving the beach, shopping, food, and Bath and Body Works. I walked around Laguna Beach in the afternoon. It was a bit cool and windy, but it was nice and peaceful and definitely what I needed to recharge. How times have changed: 2 years ago I would have been wearing a bikini at the beach; now, I was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans.

confessions

I have a confession to make: I am losing my cold weather immunity. Hey, it's not like I'm breaking out the scarves, mittens, and coats. It's not that bad, and I hope that it never will be- I'd sooner suffer than wear a scarf in October. Don't get me wrong- I welcome the drop in temperature. Just the other day, I called my dad to complain about the scorching 90 degree days.

I first noticed that I'm losing the cold weather immunity about a month ago. Unlike the 2 previous Septembers, I noticed a slight drop in temperature when the sun went down. I noticed a cooler nighttime air. Sometimes I would forgo the usual skirt and put on a pair of jeans. My roommate (a native New Yorker who's lived here 2 years longer than me) confirmed what I had already suspected: my diminishing tolerance for cold weather. She had gone through a similar experience a couple years ago.

This is embarrassing, but here is further evidence that I'm losing the immunity. I just checked the weekend weather forecast to see if Saturday would be a good beach day. It's supposed to be 66 degrees on Saturday. I was surprised, and I actually thought to myself, "it's going to be cold on Saturday." I cannot believe that I just admitted this. You Minnesotans are probably shaking your head in disappointment and disbelief right now.

a new year

We started classes last week, and it is hard to believe that this is the third year. I have vivid memories of sitting in my core classes during my first year, and I feel like I should be smarter than I feel and know more than I do. Yet, I've learned a lot since then, and with so much more to learn.

I started going to this Level 2 yoga class recently, and I have found so many parallels between yoga and grad school. For starters, despite being in a class, both yoga and grad school are very individualistic experiences. My yoga practice is my own, I move at my own pace, and I'm focused only on myself. Grad school is very similar. Someone once told me that grad school is like a video game: we master one level, and then move on to the next, more challenging level. Yoga is similar. I started in a Level 1 class, and now I've moved on to the Level 1-2 and Level 2 classes. So, back to this Level 2 class with Kelly. She always reminds us that our yoga practice is for us, to move at our own pace, to listen to our own bodies, and to do what we need to do for ourselves. This is a mantra that could very well be bottled up and repeated in grad school.

So many times, we get narrow minded and focus only on the hoops we must jump through to get a Ph.D. This is unfortunate, because by focusing only on qualifying paper 1, 2, and 3, advancement, dissertation, etc., we lose sight of all the important skills necessary to build the foundation to sustain a 40 year career. There is a playing field beyond UCI, and I want to be ready to play in that game.

Success and progress come in many forms, and these are not always a check mark that can be checked off upon completion. When I met with KB and DM last week, we debriefed and discussed the lessons learned from my first qualifying paper. Yes, now I get to check the box, but I've learned that it's more important to think of all the things I learned in the process. If I focused only on the hurdle, I would be losing sight of the skills that I developed- the skills that are the foundation to a successful career. This past year, I learned how to do research, I learned statistics, I learned how to structure an argument, I built professional relationships, and I collected my own data. Yes, I have a lot more to learn, but I'm ready for the challenge of the next level.

By focusing on the big picture, I actually find it comforting to know that the "tough love" critiques from my professors and this "on the job" training are preparing me for an arena larger than UCI. And I always remember: grad school is for me, move at my own pace, listen to myself, and do what I need to do for me.

vanilla vodka and peanut butter

Remember a previous post in which my PB Loco peanut butter was confiscated at the airport? Well, a couple old Minnesota friends sent me another jar, and it arrived in the mail yesterday. Other good news: It is vanilla vodka time. What does this mean? It means that KB and DM have signed off and approved my qualifying paper. And last night, a few of us celebrated with vanilla vodka shots. With whole coffee beans, which TS recommended. Try it sometime- good stuff.

Operation Chocolate Chip Cookie: Trial 13

Suffice it to say that the best chocolate chip cookies will not contain pistachios. I returned from a cookie baking hiatus to make Pistachio Chocolate Chip Cookies, from the Simply Recipes Blog. Here is a picture.

These cookies were soft and chewy, and the pistachio and chocolate combo was pretty good. I definitely liked that it was a twist from the proverbial chocolate and walnut combo. Despite good reviews- Karl came back for a 2nd cookie, and Vickie said that these were her favorite-I don't think I'll continue baking with pistachios. Which is unfortunate because I now have a big bag of leftover nuts.

a few rambling thoughts

So, I have not had a chance to photograph my office yet. Sorry about that. The walls are bright pink (think Pepto Bismol) and the door is a chalkboard now. I am getting new officemates soon, and I hope that they share in my enthusiasm of pink.

We start classes on Thursday, and I'm staying mildly busy and nice and relaxed. I submitted another draft of my qualifier, I'm RAing for BG, reading interesting books that I don't have time to read during the quarter (see my list in the sidebar), watching movies, crocheting, running, and going to yoga and pilates classes. And, I'm thinking about knitting myself a sweater. Just thinking about it.

Speaking of yoga and pilates, whenever I leave Yoga Shakti, there is this smell of mini donuts permeating the air. For those of you who are not familiar with the area, Yoga Shakti is in the University Center which is filled with some shops, restaurants, Trader Joe's, and a Jack in the Box. So, I know that the mini donut smell is coming from the Jack in the Box, and I wonder what the hell is on their menu that could possibly resemble mini donuts. Anyway, maybe I'll check it out sometime, but for now, it's a mystery. Any ideas?

I have a confession to make: I am addicted to Gossip Girl. I have no idea how this could have possibly happened, but I am. I started watching the new season, and I'm hooked. Oh so hooked. Season 1 is on my Blockbuster queue, and I have watched 3 of the 5 discs. Number 4 just came in the mail today, so I'm indulging myself tonight. And by the way, don't you hate it how DVD's are labelled as containing the complete season, yet it contains only 4 episodes?

All right, I'm done. I'm off to bake some cookies now. Stay tuned.

on selecting an adviser

So, I am finally putting that art degree to good use- I'm painting my office! The walls are a bright pink and the door is going to be a chalkboard. I'll post pictures sometime next week.

In academic news, I changed advisers last week. See, upon entering grad school, we are each assigned an adviser. It is kind of like an arranged marriage, except that we can always opt out and choose a new adviser. I talked to MP about this last week, and he gave me some good advice on selecting an adviser. An adviser should be my advocate. An adviser should be responsive and reliable. An adviser should push me to do good work and reach my fullest potential. I was in agreement with MP- these were the qualities that I was looking for in a potential adviser. My other personal criteria? This hinged on personality- I also wanted someone that I felt comfortable with, who had integrity, and someone who would laugh at my jokes.

Among my grad school friends, we like to joke that choosing an adviser is a lot like dating. We meet professors, get to know them, develop working relationships with them, and then we "pop the question." I spent this last year developing professional relationships by taking classes from professors, TAing for them, and asking them to be readers on my qualifying paper. To me, these are some good ways to get to know professors and figure out who I want to work with and who would be a good adviser. Last week, I quit dragging my heels and finally made things official with LD. Since we seemed to have an informal adviser/advisee relationship since sometime last spring, popping the adviser question came as no surprise.

Some people may feel bad when they change advisers. Some are afraid of burning bridges and hurting professors' feelings. Yet, at the end of the day, I know that I had to do what is right for myself. I don't feel bad about "breaking up" with my assigned adviser because this is my grad school experience, not someone else's. MP compared choosing an adviser to grocery shopping. When we choose one brand of bread over another, we don't have to justify our purchase and tell the makers of the rejected bread brand why we didn't purchase their bread.

yarn, yoga, and dachshunds

Last weekend was a lot of fun, and I hope you had a fun weekend too! I went to the beach, took a yoga class, saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, but cheesy movies are my guilty pleasure), loaded up on loot from Bath & Body Works (they have a new scent- Black Amethyst!), and I saw 3 dachshunds (1 at Fashion Island and 2 while I was out running).

So, I have been keeping busy, waiting for classes to start in about 2 weeks. I have been taking it easy, reading all the books that I don't really have time to read while I'm taking classes. I am still running, and I have started yoga again. This time, I am taking classes at Yoga Shakti, this yoga place across the street from UCI. And, I started a new crochet project, a baby blanket for a colleague due in about a month. Here is what I've done so far:

Sorry for the poor picture quality. Again, you would think that as a former art major (with a focus in photography), I could do better.

Palin Power

I'm rooting for Governor Palin. There, I said it. Now, because our policy views are diametrically opposed, chances are that I will still cast a vote for Obama. Nevertheless, I'm still rooting for Palin. I watched her RNC speech last night, and I was relieved- she did a great job. Palin was tapped to be VP to complement McCain, and she seems to do just that. Appeal to the social conservatives? Check. Appeal to the working moms? Check. Appeal to the working class? Check. Appeal to small town America? Check. Deliver a good punchline? Check. I suppose that last one wasn't a requirement, but I was entertained (even though this came at Obama's expense).

All right, this is why I want Palin to perform well: If she messes this up, I'm afraid that she's going to mess things up for all women. I'm afraid that people will say "see what happens when we nominate a woman? Let's not do that again." I'm afraid that people will say that women just aren't suitable for positions of power for whatever reason: family responsibilities, pressure, media scrutiny, qualifications, etc. Think about it, when a man screws up, we never think twice about electing another one. However, if Palin screws up, I'm afraid that we'll think twice about nominating another woman. Already, we are second guessing her qualifications and experience, and there have been doubts that she was properly vetted. It's been 24 years since a woman was on a major party ticket; I don't want to wait another 24 to see another one.